


Love Me Again?

by TheDarkestDandelion



Series: The Daemon, the Soldier and a Stolen Bio-Weapon AU [93]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anger, Angst, Attempt at Sex after Rape, Blackouts, Cor Leonis Needs a Hug, Depression, Flashbacks, Frustration, Guilt, Healing, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I Have Tagged This Thing to Death, Kissing, Loss of Self-Worth, Love, M/M, Mentions of Masturbation, Mentions of Titus Drautos | Glauca, Multi, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Ardyn Izunia, Protectiveness, Rape Recovery, Sad Cor Leonis, Self-Hatred, Somnus is a Good Brother, Struggling, Support, Talks of sex, Tears, Therapy, Time - Freeform, Understanding, Worry, fears, mentions of blowjobs, mentions of handjobs, patience - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:27:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21655990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkestDandelion/pseuds/TheDarkestDandelion
Summary: It had been couple of months since Drautos had raped Cor. Now, Cor wants to put it all behind him and be intimate with Ardyn again. However, every time they try, Cor keeps getting flashbacks as to what Drautos did to him.
Relationships: Ardyn Izunia & Somnus Lucis Caelum, Ardyn Izunia/Cor Leonis, Clarus Amicitia & Cor Leonis & Regis Lucis Caelum, Cor Leonis & Somnus Lucis Caelum, Prompto Argentum & Ardyn Izunia & Cor Leonis, Weskham Armaugh & Cor Leonis
Series: The Daemon, the Soldier and a Stolen Bio-Weapon AU [93]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310333
Comments: 13
Kudos: 42





	1. Why Can't I Do This?

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!!! 
> 
> This fic mentions rape. It is a very sensitive subject so if you don't want to read this, please don't. But if you do, read the tags and read at your own risk. It would probably help if you read the previous fic in this series but that story is a hell of a lot more harrowing and distressing than this one, so don't read if you don't want. 
> 
> This fic focus on rape recovery and will be a lot tamer than the other one. 
> 
> With that out of the way, let's start this fic than shall we...

The first time Cor changed his underwear in front of Ardyn after his husband discovered what had happened to him Cor cried. 

He couldn’t help it. It wasn’t Ardyn’s fault… Cor just had a panic attack and Ardyn did his best to understand and calm him down. Ardyn would have been lying if he said Cor’s reaction didn’t hurt him. Because he could never hurt Cor or put him through what Drautos had. Ardyn would never willingly hurt Cor at all. At that moment, to him anyway, Ardyn’s feelings did not matter only Cor’s did. Ardyn calmed Cor down and the pair talked through the matter before going to bed. Cerbie was invited to sleep in their bed that night as well, just so Cor felt safer. But because Ardyn felt hurt he went to their councilor the next morning and explained to her what had transpired and how it had made him feel. Stella assured Ardyn that Cor’s reaction had nothing to do with him. Cor was probably feeling ashamed that the last person he had any explicit sexual contact with was his attacker. Cor’s panic attack was a way to subconsciously protect himself, Ardyn was not to blame. Stella also assured Ardyn that he had to right to be upset, but he had to understand that Cor didn’t do it to upset him. Once it was explained to him, Ardyn felt like an idiot. For he had seen Cor struggling with this for months. Cor had told him on many occasions that he felt ashamed and dirty that he couldn’t bring himself to want to have sex with him. That he felt guilty for allowing Drautos to continue to ruin their lives and relationship even after he was dead. Ardyn, of course, reassured Cor that that was simply not the case. That Ardyn was willing to wait and take as ever as long as Cor needed before they became intimate again. Even if Cor felt that he could never have sex again, Ardyn wasn’t going anywhere.

To help Cor, Ardyn suggested that if Cor felt like he wanted to be intimate in any way, they build up to it. Work at whatever pace Cor felt comfortable with and go from there. 

Cor did try. 

From the get-go, Cor outright said he didn’t want Ardyn to touch him first. Cor wanted to give Ardyn a handjob to see if he could cope and the first time they tried it Cor had a breakdown. Cor may have performed oral sex on Ardyn after he was raped but Ardyn didn’t know what had happened then. Somehow, Ardyn knowing made him more self-conscious. More self-aware that sex and the act of it scared him. Because now if Cor backed out, Ardyn may pity him for it. Of course, Ardyn didn’t and would never but the feeling was there. It still lingered in the back of his mind, just like the ghost touches of the dead Captain on Cor’s skin. Because he felt awful about it Cor had to speak to someone. He spoke to Stella privately and with Ardyn and she helped him understand that all of this was normal. And that Cor had nothing to be ashamed of and Ardyn happily agreed with Stella. But Cor wanted to talk to someone else. 

So he went to Regis and Clarus. 

“It’s just hard.” 

“My dear, it will be for a while.” Regis gave him a weak smile. 

“It’s not fair on Ardyn though is it?” 

“What you went through wasn’t fair. Ardyn understands.” 

“He shouldn’t have to though. He shouldn’t have to be lumped in a sexless relationship because I can’t fucking bring myself to even touch him.” 

Cor was getting very emotional, and that was when Clarus stepped in. “Cor, I told you before Ardyn worships the ground you walk on. He loves you and sex doesn’t make a relationship.”

“I can’t touch my own husband without having a panic attack. We haven’t even tried him touching me yet. I don’t think I can ever do that.” 

“That’s fine.” 

“Cor, my dear, Ardyn is happy as long as you are. You know that. Does he know you feel this way?” Regis asked carefully not wanting to make Cor cry. 

Cor nodded. “Yeah. He does. We have talked about it.” 

“Than it is okay. I won’t pretend to have knowledge or understanding of how you are feeling but maybe it is worth talking to people who do?”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean that perhaps going to a support group might be useful. With people who have been through a similar experience to you.” 

“It’s worth a try Cor.” Clarus nodded in agreement with Regis.

“And who knows, it may help you understand how you are feeling better. But don’t do it because you feel you have to. Do it because you want to.” 

“Why?” Cor asked in a soft tone. “Why are all of you like this? Why are you all trying to help me?” 

“Because you are our brother.” Clarus laughed.

“And it is important you talk Cor. It doesn’t matter who too, but please talk when you feel comfortable too.” 

Cor’s leg started to shake. That was a thing that had developed after everything had blown up. When he felt like he was getting too emotional or trapped his leg would start to shake. Cor tried to suppress the uncontrollable twitch into a simple tap of the foot. But he couldn’t today. He just couldn’t.

In a sad whisper Cor said:

“I am trying.” 

“We know my dear. It’s okay.” 

“I’ve got to go back to work.” Cor said rising from his chair, he had to leave. He had to get out of there. 

All Regis and Clarus did was let him go. Regis would call Ardyn later on Cor’s behavior and offer to help any way he could. But right now, it was clear Cor needed space. Whether if that be to cry, to punch something, to swear, to scream. The King and Shield knew that the Marshal was trying to grieve in private for the time being. If that was what he wanted and felt he needed, who were they to stop him?

* * *

“I am really worried about him.” Ardyn confessed to his brother, as Cerbie jumped up on the sofa next to him. 

Ardyn gave his dog a side-eye, but choose not to say a word because he had been such a good boy as of late. No pissing on the sofa’s, chewing things up, and he was comforting Cor to death. Ardyn felt that he could afford to let his dog break the rules. Ardyn ran his fingers along his happy dogs back as he waited on Somnus’s reply. 

“I would be mad at you if you weren’t.” Somnus blinked, staring at the dog who still for no reason at all hated his guts. (More like, who wanted to eat his guts) 

Ardyn shook his head. “No, Somnus. He is obsessing over us not having sex.” 

“Than talk to Stella about it.” 

“Do you think we haven’t done that already. He gets so upset about it. Cerbie isn’t helping either. He has been sleeping on our bed.” 

“That’s a killjoy.” Somnus let out a small laugh but stopped when all six eyes on that daemon dog locked eyes with him. Somnus shuffled in his chair and desperately tried to make up for his poor choice of words. “Cor is struggling. Maybe you need to find a way to make him feel loved without having sex. That part will come in time.” 

“I don’t want to have sex with him until he is comfortable,” Ardyn admitted, stroking Cerbie’s front leg to get him to back down from attacking Somnus. 

That wasn’t a lie. 

Ardyn had said it many a time and it always rung true. What his husband had been through was nothing via short of traumatic. That was what they had to live with and Ardyn was very understanding of that. He did want to have sex with Cor, but he knew Cor wasn’t ready. It was only the other night, Cor managed to give him a handjob without tearing up and it was Cor who asked to do it, not Ardyn. Ardyn was very grateful and proud of his husband for doing that. It was still very foreign and heartbreaking to come to terms with that Cor felt he had to do this. He didn’t and Ardyn had tried to tell him that. But Cor simply would not listen. 

“How have you been dealing with your own needs?” 

Somnus’s blunt question didn’t take him off guard. The brothers didn’t tend to talk openly about their sex lives with each other but when they did it was never awkward. “Been using my old quarters.” 

“Maybe that’s the problem. You don’t feel comfortable enough to masturbate in your own house, so how do you think Cor is going to feel about sex?” 

Ardyn nodded at that. Maybe Somnus was right. “We have talked about that too, my needs. He says he doesn’t care where I do it.” 

“He does. You know he does.” 

“Ummm…” 

Ardyn ponded on that for a moment as he moved his hand to stroke Cerbie’s other front leg. Afterall, Ardyn had said that he wasn’t doing that in the house in case Cor didn’t feel comfortable. That may have upset his Marshal… Ardyn thought that Cor would have taken that as a sweet caring gesture but… that was the thing. His husband was not the same person he was a few months ago. He had become depressed, panicky, more self-conscious, more agitated, distracted, distant and less confident in whatever he was doing. 

Maybe they needed to have another discussion about this again.

* * *

A week passed and Cor was getting restless. He knew what he wanted to do, it was just the act of doing it or not. He had managed to have oral sex with Ardyn and it was a lot less daunting than he thought it was going to be. Ardyn was gentle. He didn’t pull at his hair, he didn’t coax him to go faster. He let him do what he wanted. 

That gave Cor a burst of confidence. 

A confidence he hadn’t felt in a long time. With this newfound confidence, Cor plucked up the courage as he lay on his husband’s stomach. Cor sat up and rubbed the back of his neck as he got Ardyn’s attention. 

“Ardyn?” 

“Yes, my lovely?” Ardyn gave him a warm smile as he sat up a little sleepy. 

“I want to have sex with you.”

“Umm… Okay.” Ardyn nodded, not really sure what else to say.

“Like now.” 

If Ardyn hadn’t been properly awake a moment ago he was now. He certainly was when Cor bashed their lips together and rubbed his hands over his chest. Ardyn had been waiting for a very long time to hear those words. But he was taken back by Cor’s roughness and aggressiveness. Because Ardyn knew this was impulsive, he gently placed his hands on Cor’s shoulders and pushed him away ever so slightly. Ardyn was not having sex with Cor unless they were both 100% sure this was what they both wanted and needed right now. 

When Cor looked at him with sad eyes, Ardyn held onto Cor’s hands and explained his reasoning for pushing him away. “Darling, I am more than happy to hear you say that. However, I don’t want to do anything unless you feel 100% comfortable.” 

“Ardyn, we haven’t had sex in over 6 months.” Cor argued, taking his hands out of Ardyn’s and placing them around his husband’s neck. 

“Yes. I know we haven’t.” Ardyn said, putting his hands on Cor’s forearms in case he tried to kiss him again. 

Ardyn did not want Cor to have a flashback. He did not want him to regret this decision when he wasn’t ready for it. Cor’s mental health was already severely damaged and Ardyn was refusing to be one that added any more to that. They needed to discuss this properly before anything else took place. 

Ardyn was right to hold on to Cor’s forearms as Cor tried to kiss him again, and Ardyn again blocked the advancement. 

“Don’t you want to have sex with me?” Cor asked, in an upset voice as he pulled away from Ardyn. 

“Of course I do. I am not being hesitant for any other reason than for you.” Ardyn assured him, fearing what was going through his husband’s head. 

“I can do this. I want to do this.” 

“Alright. Alright. Cor, please listen to me. I only want to have sex with you, when you feel ready.” 

“I am ready. Ardyn, I want to have sex with you. I want to be intimate with you again.” Cor pleaded, touching Ardyn’s face. 

As much as he wanted to do this, Ardyn knew they had to be sensible. He brought Cor’s free hand to his lips and kissed it sweetly. “You do know, that us hugging, holding hands, kissing is enough for me. Don’t do this to try and satisfy me, okay? You being in this room is enough for me.” 

“I am not. Honestly, I want to do this with you” 

Cor looked certain that was what he wanted and his voice had the same story. Ardyn let go a deep sigh and nodded. Ardyn was just hoping to everything he held dear that he was doing the right thing in agreeing to this. 

“Okay. Okay, we can have sex.”

Cor kissed Ardyn on the lips again for a few seconds before pulling away. “… can I top? I don’t think I could do it any other way.” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, My Marshal. However, you have to promise me, if you feel like you need to stop. Tell me and we will.” 

“Okay. I promise.” 

The transition of being fully clothed to naked was very uncomfortable for the Marshal. However, he refused to show it. Cor got it into his head if he just had sex with Ardyn that would be it. It would feel the same way it had done when he gave him a blow job. Less, daunting, not scary and than he could move on. That’s all Cor wanted was to get out of this depressive rut he had found himself in and be normal again. To Cor, normal meant having sex with his husband and making Ardyn feel loved and respected, like what Ardyn was doing for him now. 

Once they were naked, Cor quickly sat on Ardyn’s stomach but there was a problem. He was finding it hard to be aroused. He controlled his breathing, not wanting to back out of this and looked down at Ardyn to make him feel that way. Not even the sight of his naked husband was doing it for him. Cor tried kissing Ardyn and letting Ardyn place his hands over him, but it wasn’t working. There was no sexual pleasure.

It angered the Marshal. He felt like a failure because he couldn’t do this simple bodily function that he had been able to do since he was about 13. 

Cor felt Ardyn pulled away, and he placed a tended hand to his face. “You okay?” 

“Yeah.” Cor nodded, trying not to get upset over his lack of erection. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah… Ardyn, can you… ummm… top?” 

Cor prayed that Ardyn wouldn’t stop what he wanted to happen. But he just wanted to get this done with. Cor gripped the sheets under them as Ardyn looked into his eyes. Cor ignored the tiny amount of pity he saw and waited for an answer. 

“Cor… we don’t have to carry on.” 

“No, Ardyn I want to. But I would prefer if it if you topped. Please?” Cor could feel himself beginning to get agitated, but he hid it well and his voice was controlled when he said that to Ardyn. 

Ardyn nods and they slowly swap positions. 

Cor gulped as he lay flat on his back and watched as Ardyn made lube appear out of thin air. Cor tells himself he can do this, he wants to do this as Ardyn coats his fingers with the liquid. Instead of going straight to work, Ardyn kisses Cor softly and eases Cor with the stroke of his hair. 

“I love you my darling.” Ardyn smiles, looking down, to see if Cor will give him permission to continue.

“I love you too.” Cor whispered back. “Carry on.”

Cor looked up at the ceiling as he held his breath and parted his legs to give Ardyn better access. He could do this. Everything was going to be fine. Ardyn wouldn’t hurt him. He was safe. But when Cor felt Ardyn’s fingers gently touch his entrance, everything came rushing back. 

Druatos holding him down, Drauots’s vile breath plastering his neck, Drautos’s disgusting breathing as attacked him and Druatos’s fingers forcing him opened so he could get what he wanted. 

Cor started to shake and tears came rushing out of his eyes he could do nothing but tremble, feeling trapped underneath Ardyn. Images, sounds, smells and fear consumed him and he felt his heart race and he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t think straight all his brain was doing was taking him back there. Taking him back to that night. To the day Drautos kissed him again, to the day Drautos forced Cor to touch him. It all became too much and Cor cried and took in deep and heavy breaths in a bid to calm himself down. 

“Hey, hey, hey.” 

Ardyn saw and felt the change and immediately stopped and got himself off of Cor. Ardyn got two blankets out and slowly sat his terrified distress husband up so he could put the blanket over Cor. He put the other over his lap as he rubbed Cor’s back as Cor raised his hands to touch his head. 

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. It’s okay.” 

“I’m sorry.” Cor covered his eyes as he burst into tears.

He hated this! He hated himself for not doing this! He hated it! He hated it! He hated it!

“Don’t be.” Ardyn’s voice did very little to calm him down. 

Cor took in deep breaths as more tears fell as he trembled under Ardyn rubbing his back. “I just… It came back.” 

“That’s okay.” 

“I am so sorry that I can’t do this.” Cor continued to weep, legs shaking like mad and he felt that there was nothing he could do to calm himself down. 

“My Marshal, it doesn’t matter to me if you can’t.” 

“It does to me.” 

“I know it does. But it is okay.” 

“I just want you to be happy.” Cor whimpered, eyes going red with tears as he tried to get those images out of his head.

“I am darling. I promise.” Ardyn’s voice was soft, as he just continued to rub his inconsolable husband’s back. 

Cor got angry again. The grip on his head got tighter and he screamed through his tears. “Why can’t I do this?! Why can’t I do this with you?! You didn’t do anything to me!” 

Ardyn wrapped an arm around Cor and he fell into his chest, crying and screaming in distress. Wanting all of this to stop. Wishing he had stopped what had happened. Wishing he could stop feeling like this! Ardyn put a hand through Cor’s hair and gently stroked him as he comforted Cor.

“You are still dealing with this. That is nothing to be ashamed of. I understand I really do. I love you no matter what.”

Ardyn knew he shouldn’t have agreed to this. 


	2. Why Would You Want Me To Do That?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O_O I was meant to update this so long ago and I kind of forgot... I am a bad egg!!!
> 
> Well, the update is here now. Not really a happy one but... this story wasn't meant to be happy. 
> 
> So enjoy I guess... :)

Cor gulped down the last of the whiskey that was in the house. 

He often found himself doing this when neither Ardyn or Prom were home. Cerbie would sit on his feet and make sad whimpering noises at him because Cor was only doing this to numb the emotional turmoil he was feeling. The daemon dog knew that and he didn’t want to see his daddy turning to the bottle. Cor looked at his dog through droopy drunk eyes and then to the empty bottle he had half started an hour ago. The Marshal lent back in his chair and realised what he had just done. This wasn’t him. He knew he shouldn’t be relying on the drink to cope when no one was around. Cor stood up, went to the kitchen got whatever alcohol was left in the house, including Ardyn’s wine, and poured it down the drain. This wasn’t a problem yet. Not yet, but Cor wasn’t allowing it to get that far. He put the empty bottles on the side and turned around to see Cerbie wagging his tail happily at him. Cor nodded and gave him a weak smile. At least he had made one right decision since everything with Drautos started. Now, he was going to have to explain to Ardyn why he had done this. Cor had done this because he was terrified of further falling into a disgusting shadow of someone he used to be. It just hurt. It hurt to wake up in the morning and be reminded of it every day. Be reminded that you weren’t strong enough, or clever enough, or confident enough to stop something like that from happening to you. 

The drunk Marshal placed all the empty bottles in the recycling bins and made his way upstairs to vomit what he could up. He needed to at least try and sober himself up before Ardyn got home. Of course, Cor was going to tell him what had happened if he didn’t Cerbie would tell his dada via some weird daemon language the pair could communicate in. Once Cor had thrown up, he brushed his teeth and got into bed. Cerbie quickly jumped up and snuggled up to him as they waited for Ardyn to returned. 

They waited for an hour and Ardyn came directly upstairs to find them both on the bed. Cor didn’t give Ardyn a chance to say hello he just outright told him what he had done.

“I drank half a bottle of whiskey.” 

“Right.” Ardyn stated, trying not to sound concerned. But he bloody was. 

“I poured the rest of the drink in the house down the drain. Yes, this has been happening for a few weeks. I just didn’t want it to become something I can’t control later down the line. And umm… your wine is gone too.”

Ardyn let out a deep sigh. He was beginning to worry further about Cor’s mental state. He was so fucking proud of him for getting rid of it all, including his wine. At least, the worry about Cor becoming an alcoholic had lessened. Stella did warn him that because of the nature of the assault and how depressed Cor had become that there was a possibility his husband may start substance abusing. Ardyn was so proud of Cor for doing the right thing and trying to look after himself and actually talking to him. It was a step in the right direction. 

Ardyn sat on the bed and stroked Cor’s hair. “Well done darling. Thank you for not letting it consume you.” 

“I am trying.” Cor said in a broken whisper.

“I can see that. You are doing really well. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Cor whimpered and hugged Ardyn. 

Ardyn made everything so much bearable. So much clearer and Cor felt so much safer in the arms of his immortal husband. Cor was just so happy that Ardyn was home and so was Cerbie. Their dog broke up their hug so Ardyn would also give Cerbie love and attention. Ardyn of course did and allowed their dog to lay between the two of them as Cor ‘fell asleep.’ When Ardyn was certain that he was passed out, he asked Cerbie in daemonic language what had happened and he got the same story that Cor had given him. Good. At least there were no more lies between them but Ardyn knew he had to be more vigilant on this now.

* * *

Prom walked into his living room to find Ardyn slumped over the table. It was late about midnight and Prom was concerned as to why his dad wasn’t in bed. All Ardyn was doing was staring at the wall, deep in thought. His dad must really be thinking hard on something because he hadn’t heard Prom come in. 

“Dad?” Prom asked in a low whisper so that he didn’t alert Cerbie and than in turn wake Cor up. His dad needed all the rest he could get in his opinion. 

“Ummm.” Ardyn hummed, turning to face Prom. 

“You okay? You look tired.” 

“Yes, my sunbeam. I am okay.” Ardyn smiled but noticed that Prom was a little on edge. Dread fell into Ardyn’s stomach. Since everything with Cor came out, Ardyn was more than hyper-aware of his son’s and his husband’s behaviour. Ardyn just bloody hoped Prom was okay. “.... but you look like you have something to tell me.” 

“It can wait.” Prom said taking a seat next to Ardyn as he was more concerned about his dada at the moment.

“Come on, your dad and Cerbie are asleep. We promised not to keep things from each other.” 

Prom looked at the table and nodded in agreement. “Umm… Ignis and I slept together for the first time last night.” 

“Oh. That’s good. I take it you don’t want to talk to your father about this?” 

“I do… but I don’t know how he will react.” 

Ardyn let go of a deep sigh, remembering what Cor had told him a few hours ago. “Neither do I to be perfectly honest with you.” 

Prompto picked up that something was wrong instantly. The young Prince got a little panicked and held on to Ardyn’s arm hoping that nothing bad had taken place. “Why? Are you both okay?” 

“Yes, we’re fine, my sunbeam.” Ardyn gave him a weak smile back. Ardyn didn’t really think Cor wanted everyone knowing how bad things were for him, so Ardyn tried to change the subject back to Ignis and Prom. “Anyway, I gather you and Ignis still like each other. Do you want to ask me any questions at all?” 

“Not really.” Prom shook his head with a little disappointment, they weren’t meant to be lying anymore. “Dad? Are you sure you and dad are okay?”

Ardyn shook his head there was no use trying to avoid this conversation and Ardyn knew he should talk to someone about how he was feeling, but it should not be Prom. His son shouldn’t have to worry about either of his dads he was their baby. But that was the thing… Prompto was not a baby anymore. He was an adult who could quite possibly rule over Lucis one day if Noctis didn’t have any children before it was their time to die and if Somnus didn’t want the throne. A shiver went down his spine. No. He did not want to think about that at all. Ardyn felt like he was already on the verge of tears he did not need to be reminded of the fate he had been gifted by Bahamut. 

Ardyn closed his eyes and spoke carefully at his son. “You’re dad has been drinking. Apparently he has been drinking a lot. I am just concerned.” 

“Does he need me to do anything?” Prom asked, feeling more worried than before.

“No, darling. I know you love him and care for him, but right now, you are still in recovery. You need to focus on you and make sure that you are okay. Let me worry about him.” Ardyn couldn’t stress enough how important that was. 

Having Prompto get ill again and go into hospital along with Cor’s mental state… that would be too much for even the Adagium to hold it together. Ardyn could feel his eyes start to swell up with blacken tears. No. He didn’t want to cry. Not in front of Prompto. Not in front of Cor. Ardyn had to be the strong one in this. For both of them, it was his job to protect both of them and… he thought he had failed. Ardyn thought he failed being Prom’s father when he missed all the signs that pointed towards his illness, and now he had missed all the signs that Drautos had violently raped Cor. He was meant to be the most feared being in all of Eos and he couldn’t keep the ones he loved more than anything else safe… 

“Dad, you need someone to look after you too.” Prom said comfortingly, rubbing Ardyn’s arm. He could tell he was about to burst into tears maybe that was what Ardyn needed to do. Cry.

“No, I don’t.” Ardyn shook his head allowing a single black tear to fall. 

“Dad, yes, you do. You will also get ill if you lock all of your emotions up.”

At his son’s words, Ardyn choked on his breath and the tears finally fell. He brought his hands to his face, trying to cover up the sadness he was feeling. There was no point in doing it. But a father should never cry in front of their son, it wasn’t fair on the child and Ardyn did not want Prom blaming himself for his sorrow. 

“I am sorry Prom. I shouldn’t cry in front of you.” 

“No, please do.” Prom assured him, getting a tissue out of his pocket before handing it to his dad. 

Ardyn took the tissue and wiped his face. “I just… I feel so guilty. I feel like I should have known or done something sooner. I never even thought that something like this could ever happen to your father. If I had just pushed harder for him not to go near that monster, it might not have happened.” 

“Everyone missed it, dad. It wasn’t just you.” 

“But that is the second thing I have missed. I love you much my sunbeam, and I am so sorry I couldn’t see what was happening to you.” Ardyn wept harder.

Prom shook his head. When Cor screamed what had happened in his face Prompto blamed himself completely. Blamed himself for Cor not speaking out because he didn’t want Drautos to do the same to him. Because of that the negativity slowly began to take ahold of him again and that voice that was calling him ‘fat’ started to get stronger. But Prom knew it was all a lie. The moment that happened was the moment Prompto spoke to his Therapist about it. They were able to explain it to him. They made him realise that Drautos was the fault of what had happened and was the one who had beaten and forced his dad into a submissive depressive state. That the abuse could never have been Prom’s fault, like his illness. That wasn’t Prom’s fault, it was no one’s. Prom just had to learn how to manage and know his worth. Because Prom was realising this, he knew Ardyn should never blame himself. No one blamed him. The daemons probably weren’t helping but fuck them. They needed to get through this as a family. 

Prom said clearly and raised his voice so he knew Ardyn was paying attention to him. “Dad. Both accounts weren’t your fault. I have a mental illness, that can never be your fault. And as for dad… Drautos fooled everyone. He made everyone trust him and believe him that is not your fault.”

“That’s the thing, Prom. I have never trusted that man. Never. Yet, I still let him be the Captain of the Kingsglaive.” Ardyn felt himself grow angry now. What he would give to resurrect that man and kill him again.

“And dad trusted him. What happened will never be dad’s fault it will always be Drautos’s. So you not noticing isn’t your fault either. It was shit and the only thing we can do now, is get on with our lives.” 

“What happened to you? Why are you speaking so wisely?” Ardyn laughed with a small smile on his face. Ardyn was so proud of his son and he always will be.

“I am your son. Yours and dads. That is what we Leonis’s do. We survive right?”

“Yes, we do. Come here.” 

Ardyn and Prom hugged away their pain and decided that maybe it was time that they suggested that Cor take a holiday. Cor hadn’t had a break in so long and he refused to take one after Drautos’s imprisonment and death. It might do them all good getting away for a bit. They could go to Altissa and spend time with Wesk and just forget about everything. They could even invite Ignis and Ardyn was certain no one would object to this request. Cor might but he needed a break. They needed to get away and if Wesk would allow it they could take Cerbie. Actually they might have to take Cerbie with or without his permission considering how protective Cerbie was acting over Cor and Prom. Somnus was no longer allowed in the house without getting bitten when either of them was present. That was how protective he was. 

* * *

Cor was a little reluctant when his husband and son suggest that idea to him. He didn’t know if he wanted to leave Insomnia and have all those people staring at him as his shame didn’t stay out of the news and he knew Altissa wasn’t going to be an escape. But Stella disagreed. She suggested that it would be great if he went away for a bit and Regis agreed too. Cor tried to say that they couldn’t go because Prom had to see his therapist and he couldn’t miss an appointment. To that Prom told his dad he had already talked to them about it and they also agreed it would do Prom a world of good and if Prom needed to talk to him, Prom could always call him. Finally, Cor tried saying Wesk wouldn’t like Cerbie being there and that was very far from the truth. On Wesk’s visit to see Cor a few months ago, he and Cerbie got on like a house on fire. Knowing that he could no longer argue Cor decided to just give in to his family’s wishes and go. He could just stay in Wesk’s house the entire time. 

“I haven’t been here in ages!” Prom smiled, after releasing his uncle Wesk from a hug.

“I assume you know which room is yours Prompto.” Wesk smiled back ruffling his nephew’s hair.

“Yeah!” Prom beam taking ahold of Ignis’s hand. “Come on Iggy I’ll show you around.” 

Ignis pushed his glasses up and halted, as he didn’t want to appear rude in Weskham’s presence. “Prompto. We are here to see your uncle.” 

“It is perfectly alright Mr. Sceintia. Go have a look around.” Wesk nodded, letting the boys go. 

“See, Wesk calls Ignis that.” Ardyn complained nudging Cor. 

“Wesk isn’t Prom’s dad, you need to call him Ignis.” Cor rolled his eyes. 

“Blah, blah, blah.” 

Wesk was very happy to see Cor again. On the outside, Cor didn’t look as distressed and depressed as he did a few months ago. It really hurt Wesk, knowing what Cor had been through but Wesk didn’t want to mention it. Cor was here for rest and Wesk was more than happy to just spend time with his brother, his nephew and both their partners. 

“How’s everything back in Insomnia?” 

“There is still some cleaning up to do. But okay.” Cor shrugged. 

“Thank you so much Weskham for letting us stay here.” Ardyn smiled, rubbing Cor’s back as he spoke. 

“The pleasure is all mine. Here’s a spare key, shall I give one to Prom?” 

“No.” Ardyn and Cor said in unison. 

“This is why I didn’t have children.” Wesk laughed. He loved Prom, Noct, Iris, Gladio, and Cindy dearly, but no. Having a child and constantly worrying about themwas not something Wesk was willing to put himself through. Wesk than realised a member of the Leonis family was not here. He was a little disappointed by that. “Where is Cerberus?”

“I’ll summon him when it gets dark. The poor dear goes crazy if he appears somewhere new in the middle of the day.” Ardyn explained.

“He’ll shit himself. Quite literally. But Wesk?” Cor asked changing the conversation. 

“Yes?”

“Can I have a cookie? Please?” 

“Here you go.” Wesk smiled handing his little brother the snack that the Marshal always asked for whenever they saw each other. And When Cor took the cookie, Wesk started to tease Cor for this behaviour. “You will never change will you Leonis.”

“Nope.” Ardyn laughed with pride, hoping that Wesk was right. 

* * *

“Are you alright?” 

“Yeah.” Cor nodded, with Cerbie sitting in his lap. Then the Marshal shook his head not wanting to lie to his older brother. “No.” Once that had come out of his mouth, one of Cerbie’s head shot up and started licking Cor’s face to give him comfort. That reaction made Cor laugh. “Thanks, Cerbie.” 

“I am here if you want to talk.” Wesk confirmed. 

Because he would always be here for Cor. He could always be here for any of his brothers, but Wesk knew Cor too well and sometimes his little brother needed reminding of that. On their trip to Accordo, Cor used to let whatever was troubling him fester because he didn’t want the others to worry about him. It was not healthy for him, and Wesk was not ever going to allow Cor to suffer in silence again. Especially not over this traumatic experience Cor had been forced into. 

“I know. Thank you for letting us stay here.” Cor gave him a weak smile wanting to change the subject.

“You are always welcome here. I have an idea. Why don’t you come with me to work tomorrow? I think maybe the change of faces might help.” 

Cor looked down at Cerbie who started to whimper and he shook all his heads at his daddy to tell him he disapproved of that idea. The Marshal disapproved of the idea as well. It was one thing deciding not to drink but going to a bar… Cor didn’t know if he could be able to not help himself. Cor didn’t want drinking to become another thing he had to deal with. 

“I do appreciate that Wesk, but… I really don’t want to be pitied by strangers.” Cor replied, still looking at his dog. And Cerbie did not look happy that he had lied to uncle Wesk. 

“No one pities you.” Wesk assured him, not wanting to make Cor upset. 

“Maybe not out loud. 

“When did the spitfire cookie loving Cor the Immortal care about what anyone else thought. You’re a lion Cor and you’re my brother. I know you are discrediting yourself by saying things like that. You know it too.” 

“A cookie does sound good.” 

“Here.” Wesk handed his brother yet another cookie and rolled his eyes at him. He loved Cor but Wesk did not want to let this drop or allow Cor to dig himself into a darker pit of despair. “I think it will help. But it is up to you.” 

“I want to. But I shouldn’t.” Cor explained, getting fed up with secrets and the look Cerbie was giving him. 

“Why not?” 

Cor hadn’t told anyone else about the drinking yet. Clarus, Regis, Cid, and Somnus, as far as Cor knew were none the wiser about it. This was going to be hard telling Wesk. But then again, Cor had been through utter hell so really anything else should be a walk in the park for him to handle. Plus, he had Cerbie in his lap giving him comfort and Ardyn was upstairs having a nap. If cor started to cry Ardyn would be down here in a second flat. It wasn’t really fair to keep Wesk in the dark..

While giving Cerbie a stroke for comfort, Cor spoke in a low and shameful tone. “I’ve been… drinking more than that is good for me in order to cope with how I am feeling. I have stopped now, but I don’t want it to be an issue.” 

“I am so proud of you.” Wesk smiled at him, putting a gentle hand on Cor’s knee. 

“I am not.” Cor shook his head, a little confused by Wesk’s words. Why would he be proud of him? 

“Because I am. Look at me, you’re my little brother. No matter what shit comes your way you get through it. And you telling me about this, it only proves how strong you are and that you can pull through this.” Wesk said with confidence. He was getting more concerned with Cor’s behaviour but the Marshal had already taken the first step. He had recognised the problem and was actively doing what he could to solve it. He was so, so proud of Cor. And he knew for certain, Clarus, Regis and Cid would be too. And Ardyn… Wesk was so grateful that they had gotten back together. Because Wesk honestly didn’t know if he would be talking with Cor today if they hadn’t. Ardyn was Cor’s rock, and Cor was Ardyn’s. It was so sweet how much they loved and cared for one another. 

“Thanks, Wesk.” 

“You are doing better you think.” 

“Maybe.”

* * *

Ardyn yawned it must have been around midnight. Since everything had happened Ardyn had trained himself to wake up at least three times in the night in case Cor needed him. He used to do this when Prom had first returned home from the hospital. He was very glad he had done this tonight. Ardyn sat up and found Cor sitting at the foot of the bed looking down at the floor. Ardyn immediately shuffled down the bed and placed a gentle hand on his back. 

“Are you alright, my darling?” Ardyn asked in a whisper so he didn’t wake the house up. 

Cor nodded and replied in a sad tone. “I think you should hire a prostitute.” 

“Excuse me?!” Ardyn blinked completely taken back by the bluntness and content of this conversation. 

“You heard what I said.” 

“Umm… no. I am not going to do that.” 

“Why? I am giving you permission too.” Cor shrugged with a plain voice. 

Ardyn shook his head, got off the bed and knelt down in front of him. He couldn’t believe what Cor was saying to him. With or without Cor’s permission he could never do that. He could never do that to Cor. Ardyn took ahold of Cor’s hand and tried to understand why Cor was saying this to him. “Right. Let’s back up a second. Why in all of Eos would you want me to do that? Why would I even want to do that?” 

“Because you have needs too.” Cor replied, not looking at Ardyn. He didn’t want Ardyn to do that, but what sort of person would he be if he didn’t allow Ardyn to experience pleasure he simply could no longer give him. He just wanted Ardyn to be happy. 

“Needs? Oh, My Marshal, I don’t want to sleep with a prostitute.” Ardyn assured him, kissing his hands softly. 

“Let’s face it Ardyn we are not going to have sex for a while yet. I am giving you permission to enjoy yourself. It’s okay. I want you to do that.” 

“I don’t want to enjoy myself with anybody that isn’t my husband.” 

Ardyn didn’t know how he could make it any clearer than that. But Cor’s eyes started to swell up and turn red, Ardyn knew that his words hadn’t sunk in. The immortal being just had to sit and wait as Cor tried to pull himself together. The Marshal sniffed and held on to Ardyn’s hands tighter. He… he really didn’t understand why Ardyn was refusing it. 

Cor felt his throat get tighter and he nearly choked on his words. “I don’t understand that. Ardyn, before Drau… before he hurt me, we were having sex at least 3 times a week. Now, we’re not. It is selfish of me to restrict you to a sexless marriage.” 

“Cor, listen to what I am saying to you. I am perfectly alright and comfortable with not having sex, you shouldn’t worry about me. I have gone years without sex before it does not interest me, I do not need it to function. Before we got together I hadn’t slept with anyone in about 10 years. It’s okay.” 

“BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE!” Cor cried letting the tears fall and he accidentally shouted that out loud. 

Now, Wesk, Prom, Ignis, and Cerbie had probably heard him. Cor didn’t want that. He let go of Ardyn’s hands and shielded his face and sobbed into them as Ardyn sat back on the bed. Cor just couldn’t take it anymore. He hated it. All of it! When he felt Ardyn wrap his arms around him and pull him closer, Cor fell towards he was being pulled. He just wanted a hug, to feel safe, and give Ardyn the love he deserved. Not this. Not tears. Not him. 

“Okay, darling. Please calm down.” Ardyn hushed Cor, rocking him from side to side while stroking his hair lightly. 

“Sorry…” Cor muttered, still crying but he was no longer covering his face. 

“It’s alright. Darling, I want you to understand that you are the only person I am ever going to want, sex or no sex. I love you.”

Ardyn’s words just made Cor cry more. It made him hurt so much more because he wished he could say the same. “But… I didn’t. I wanted to sleep with him. I wanted to sleep with the person who raped me, how disgusting is that?” 

“That’s in the past.” Ardyn whispered, trying to ignore the pain he felt by his husband’s words.

“Not for me Ardyn. If I had just loved you better that wouldn’t have happened. But I got distracted and I cheated on you… I want you to be angry at me. I want you to at least tell me how you feel about what I did and what I nearly did to you. Because I don’t forgive myself for hurting you like that. I will never be able to understand how you can forgive me.” 

Ardyn held his breath at that because Cor wasn’t wrong. Ardyn was angry about all of it. Including the fact that Cor had indeed cheated on him before Drautos attacked him. However, Ardyn was more infuriated with Drautos. Regis had come to him a few weeks prior and told Ardyn that the main reason that Drautos had gone for Cor was to hurt the King. It was just disgusting and twisted and Ardyn blamed himself for not trusting his own instincts on that man a very long time ago. Right now, Ardyn did not think it was the time to tell Cor about his anger or Drautos’s confession. Ardyn simply did not know how Cor would react to hearing that Drautos had done it to hurt Regis. He didn’t want to find out either. All Ardyn wanted to do was make Cor feel loved again. 

“I don’t feel anything about it.” Ardyn lied still petting Cor hair. 

“Why?” 

“Because that is not important to me. Would I be lying if I said it didn’t hurt? Yes, I would be. But… It doesn’t matter. I have told you this time and time again. Drautos is not apart of my life anymore and I will never let what he did change the way I feel about you.” 

“He’s apart of mine though.” Cor admitted rubbing his face into Ardyn’s chest. “He isn’t going away. No matter how dead he is. No matter how many times you have told me what you did to him. He won’t ever go away.” 

“I clearly chose those words poorly. This is tough on you and me. We can’t pretend it’s not. But I will never let it change the way I look at you. You need to understand that Cor. You need to understand how much I love you.” 

“Than tell me how much you are hurting over this.” Cor wiped his nose and finally sat up. They were still married and Ardyn should not feel like he should have to hide his emotions to comfort him. No. He didn’t want that. He needed Ardyn to be completely honest with him. 

“... Cor.” 

“No. You want me to understand, you need to tell me how much this has hurt you. We are going to renew our vows soon and I want us to be more than honest with each other before we do that.”

Ardyn gulped. This was going to be a very long night. There was going to be more crying on both ends, maybe an argument or two. But he knew Cor was right. They weren’t going to be able to move on if Ardyn didn’t explain everything to him. This was going to hurt them both so much... 


	3. Give It Up? Please?! For Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of an emotional chapter...
> 
> Sorry about that...
> 
> Please continue reading :)

“I have been. I have already told you how I feel.” 

Ardyn said sitting on the bed as he watched Cor pace up and down the room. They had been talking for two hours about the same thing. About how Ardyn felt, and the royal was reluctant to give up the information. Right now he was focusing on keeping their argument quiet so they didn’t wake up anyone in Weskham’s house. They didn’t need to hear this. No one did. 

Cor stood in front of Ardyn visibly frustrated as he spoke sharply at his husband. “Than show me. Be angry. Raise your voice at me. Scream in my face. Throw shit around. Tell me what it felt like when you killed him. Do something other than standing there waiting for me to crack. Because that is what it has been feeling like lately. That you, Prom, Wesk, everyone is standing there waiting for me to cry and collapse when all I want to do… All I want… is for you to love me again. Like you used to...” 

“I can’t love you again, because I never stopped.” Ardyn replied, hating seeing Cor like this. But there was nothing Ardyn could do to calm the Marshal down because he wasn’t listening to a word he was saying. 

“Than be angry with me.” Cor pleaded. 

It was an odd thing to want but Cor wanted Ardyn to be mad at him, and his husband just wasn’t. Cor still felt like he needed to be punished for what happened before Drautos attacked him. Ardyn just… it just seemed like Ardyn didn’t care. Cor knew he did, and because Cor knew that Ardyn was hiding away his own emotions, it got him more upset and made him feel guiltier. He just wanted Ardyn to act like himself. No more pussyfooting, no more isolating his own feelings. Cor needed to hear it all. He needed to hear how Ardyn felt. The Marshal grabbed Ardyn’s arms and begged him to be angry at him again. Because he had worked himself up about this so much, he wasn’t thinking what he was saying. 

“Be angry that I willingly let that piece of filth touch me. I let him kiss me. That was me! I am not talking about the rape, I am talking about before. The times I let him touch me during training and said nothing. That I actively wanted to sleep with him. Please, please, please just be mad at me! Please?!” 

Ardyn closed his eyes. 

All of those words cut deeper than a knife. 

There was a reason why Ardyn was keeping all of his emotions concealed. It wasn’t just because he didn’t want Cor to know and/or be affected by his emotions, but Ardyn didn’t know what would happen if he said these words out loud. There was a strong possibility that he might try to act upon them. The last thing Cor and Prom needed was Ardyn putting their little broken family at risk again. 

“I already told you I am angry. You didn’t have to say any of that.” Ardyn said breathing through his nose as he gently moved Cor away from him. 

“I know and I am sorry. I just want you to tell me how you feel!” 

“Even if it will hurt you? Because it will hurt you Cor.”

“I don’t care. I just want you to tell me.”

Cor said with certainty in his voice. For he didn’t want Ardyn to feel like he needed to hide anything. Cor loved him and would take Ardyn for whatever he said, no matter how painful the truth might be. 

“Fine.” Ardyn let out a deep sigh as he finally stood up. In a low voice, he started to admit to his husband what he had been bottling up for months. “Yes, I am hurt that that happened. But I am hurting more because I failed to protect you. That the legendary evil powerful Adagium couldn’t even protect the man he loves from getting brutally attacked or from getting emotionally and sexually abused for months. To know that I was the one who missed it. That shit hurts Cor! Yes, I may never know what is going on through your head but you will never understand what is going through mine. Now, you are going to stand there and tell me that it’s not my fault. I know it’s not my fault but you are a hypocrite if you say that to me when you can’t even see that all of this was Drautos’s fault and none of it is yours! All of it was his fault! If you want to know how I fucking feel I will tell you now.” Ardyn didn’t mean too but he couldn’t remove the pure hate from his voice as he continued to speak. “I loathe that man more than anyone I have ever come across in my life. I loathe him more than Bahamut. Not only for attacking you but also for 10 minutes of his life he thought he could take you away from me. He thought he could get near my son and live to tell the tale. That he could murder my nephews for trying their hardest to return his home to him! So yes, I am furious. And I would gladly destroy Eos tonight if it meant I got to bring that sick twisted rapist back to life and murder him repeatedly. If I could crush his skull with my bare hands if I could rip his organs out one by one and laugh at his pain. If I could turn him into a daemon, tie him to a post and leave him there until the sun came up and watched as what was left of him burnt away! I would do all of that! But you don’t want to hear any of that! You don’t want to hear the disgusting horrible inhuman things that go around my head! Because you love me and you want me to be the better person! I am not! Looking after you and Prom, getting you both help and making sure that you are both happy and healthy is the only thing that is preventing me from losing control! That is why I can’t be mad at you or this situation because I am trying to be stable for you and Prom! And you telling me to be fucking angry isn’t helping in the slightest!” 

The two stared at each other for a moment after that. Ardyn was now angry at himself for letting himself get worked up when Cor needed him right this second. He shouldn’t have said any of that and he knew that he had chosen his words poorly. It seemed like he was blaming Cor for his anger but Ardyn didn’t. However, Ardyn knew Cor was going to take it as if he had. Whereas Cor was now regretting pushing Ardyn. For his husband was right. Cor didn’t want to hear any of that. He didn’t want to hear the lengths Ardyn was willing to go, with the possibility of losing himself in the process, all for him and Prom. It did, as Ardyn had already predicted it would, overwhelmed Cor and he couldn’t be in this room any longer. 

“I need some air.” Cor whispered, picking up his coat and shoes and leaving the room as fast as he could. 

“Cor? Cor, wait a second!” Ardyn called out feeling like a complete dick for saying all of that. 

He rushed out of the room after his husband and Cor was already halfway down the stairs and headed towards the front door. Ardyn started to panic then. His eyes flashed with fear and without thinking he shouted at him, not caring if he woke anyone else up, he started to beg Cor to stay. 

“Cor! Cor! Don’t you dare go out that door!”

Cor ignored Ardyn and left the house slamming the door closed behind him. 

“Dad? Dad, what’s going on?” Prom asked in a worried tone as he ran out of his room, with Cerbie following close behind him. 

Prom and Ignis had heard both Cor and Ardyn quietly arguing for about an hour now. The pair had woken the boys up and because Prom was too worried he couldn’t fall back asleep. Then when the front door slammed, Prom couldn’t just sit in the room anymore. Ignis decided to stay in bed, knowing that they probably didn’t want his input in this. He wasn’t really apart of this family yet. 

“Your dad and I had a fight. He just left.” Ardyn said wanting to follow Cor. 

But Ardyn knew Cor did not want to see him or probably have anything to do with him right now. Why didn’t he just keep his mouth shut? He shouldn’t have said any of those things. Because he was festering about what had happened, Ardyn knew it wouldn’t be sensible for him to go out there with people still walking about at 2 in the morning, for he might get a bit aggressive in his hunt for his distressed husband. The people of Altissa were strange. 

“We have to go after him! There are all sorts of weirdos walking around Altissa.” 

“I know, Prom. But he doesn’t want to talk to me.” 

“Than I’ll go.” 

“No.” Ardyn said, holding onto Prom’s arm so he couldn’t leave. Thank goodness Prom couldn’t use his powers anymore to get away from him. “As you said there are weirdos about. It is too dangerous even for you. I will go. Just give me a moment to calm down first.” 

The pair continued to bicker on the landing as Wesk stepped out of his room. The moment he heard Ardyn shouting at Cor to remain put, Wesk knew he had to do something. He had already gotten changed, put his coat on and was ready to leave in search for his little brother. If Ardyn was right and Cor didn’t want to speak to him, Wesk was the next best thing to try and help Cor calm down. First things first though, he needed to get Ardyn to tell him everything that had happened between the pair quickly. Then he could go and look for Cor. 

* * *

Cor placed the Gil down on the counter of the little shop he had walked in too. For some reason, Altissa was like Insomnia. It never slept and there was always a corner shop open. The cashier took the Gil and handed over a lager bottle of vodka to the clearly distressed and close to tears Marshal. 

“Thanks.” 

Cor muttered taking the bottle and leaving, not even bothering to pick up his change. Cor didn’t stop when the cashier called after him either. And as soon as he was out of the shop, Cor opened the bottle up and drank as much of the spirit as he could without a second thought. The Marshal had promised himself this was going to stop, the drinking was going to stop for the love of his family… but he couldn’t get the things that Ardyn had said out of his head. What Ardyn would do if he had the chance, what Ardyn would risk just for him. No. It overwhelmed and frightened Cor to the point where he didn’t want to feel anymore. Also, Cor knew Ardyn didn’t mean it like that, but his brain was telling him that he was the reason for his husband’s anger. In a way, yes he was. If Cor hadn’t of cheated on Ardyn, none of this would have happened. Cor wouldn’t be feeling like this and no one would be worried about him. Cor wouldn’t be wandering the streets of Altissa with a bottle of vodka in his hand, drinking it whenever the burn in his throat started to fade away, along with his raw and nearly unbearable emotions swarming around his head.

The Marshal took another swig of this deadly liquid as he turned into an alleyway. Cor sunk down to the floor, leaning up against the wall as he stared at his phone. Ardyn, Prom, Wesk and Ignis had called him countless times. As the alcohol started to sink in, Cor simply did not care.

Ping. 

Cor clicked on the text message that popped up on his phone and he nearly broke down seeing who it was and what it said. It was from Regis and from what the tipsy Marshal could make out was that his best friend was very concerned about him. 

_ Reggie: Cor. Please answer you’re phone I am so worried about you. Or at least go back to Wesk’s house. Ardyn, Prom, Wesk, all of us just want to know that you are safe. Please respond and please don’t do anything stupid. I love you. We all do.  _

Cor shook his head and turned off his phone, putting it back in his pocket and placed the bottle to his lips once more. With tears falling from his eyes, Cor gulped down what he could of the highly intoxicating substance.

* * *

“Excuse me, sir? Madam? ” Wesk asked in a worried tone as he passed a younger gentleman and his partner out in the street. “I don’t mean to bother you, but have you seen the Marshal of the Crownsguard anywhere around here?” 

The couple gave him a blank look for a couple of seconds before the gentleman spoke. “No sorry. We didn’t even know he was in Altissa.” 

Wesk let out a massive sigh. This was about the 15th person Wesk had asked that had given him a similar answer and it had been about half an hour since Cor left. Ignis was at Wesk’s house trying to call Cor, whereas was Prom trying his best to calm Ardyn down so he could get himself sorted so they could find Cor quicker. Ardyn did suggest that Wesk take Cerbie with him, but with so many people walking around at night, it was too risky to let their beloved dog help.

“Is everything alright?” The woman asked, who was hanging on to the gentleman’s arm.

“Yes of course. I am sorry to have interrupted your night.” Wesk gave them a weak smile and rang Regis again. Surely Cor would have answered his texts from the King. 

He really needed to find Cor and quickly.

* * *

“Another one, please.” 

Cor said to the bartender as he placed more Gil on the bar. His speech was starting to slur and that bottle of vodka did not last as long as it should have. Cor had to result in finding a bar that was still open at 3 o’clock in the morning to get another fix of drink. Cor could feel his head starting to get heavy, but he was forgetting the argument between himself and Ardyn, and the constant pain he felt. 

The bartender took the money and gave the Marshal a weird look as she poured him his thrid double vodka. “Maybe you should just ask for the bottle.”

“I know… you can’t give me that.” Cor said flatly, eyes dropping more than before. Soon he would be too drunk and she wouldn’t be allowed to serve him anymore. So Cor tried to make the most of it while he could. 

She placed the glass in front of him and cleared her throat. “Why are you here? It’s late. Shouldn’t you be at home?”

She knew who Cor was. Everyone did. Everyone knew what had occurred a few months back as well. Because of that, she understood why Cor the Immortal was here drinking all alone. The last thing he probably wanted was the press knowing what he was doing. 

“Drinking.” Cor stated, gulping the drink down as quick as he could before putting the glass back down and asking for another. 

“No.” She shook her head. “I am closing in a minute. You should go home.” 

“I don’t want to.”

“You can’t stay here.”

Cor rolled his eyes and tried to stand up. As he did so, he had to grip the bar because of how wobbly he felt. The room was spinning and the burn from the vodka and still had not worn off. It was okay. He could go and find another bar and get some more. It wouldn’t be a problem. Cor dragged his feet along the floor as he made his way to the exit. His stomach began to churn and he basically fell into the door as he prevented himself from being sick. No. Cor wanted to feel numb. He wanted to suppress everything and being sick would not help him achieve that.

“Marshal?” The Bartender called out as she gave him a look of nothing but pity. The man in front of her could barely stand and she didn’t want to be the fault of Cor getting hurt as he could barely hold himself upright. “Tell me where you are staying? I’ll take you home.”

“Nah… I’ll… do...”

The smell of sick filled the air.

Than he blackout.

* * *

When Cor came round he could smell seawater. 

Somehow in the time that he had missed, Cor had required another bottle of alcohol. This time it was cheap weak stuff and it was already empty. He stumbled his way along the water’s edge not sensing or hearing anything but the sound of his heart as he aimlessly made his way to another little corner shop. However, this time they refused to serve him and told him to go home. Cor raised his head and looked at the man and in a voice, he hardly recognised, he started to beg. 

“Ple..eas. One… one bttle.” 

“No. Leave.” 

Not wanting the argument, Cor turned around and…

* * *

Cor shook his head to wake himself up. His arm was killing and his face felt wet. He was outside again. Cor ran his hand over his face and pulled it his hand to eye level, it was covered in blood. But because of how drunk and disoriented he was, he couldn’t feel any pain. Cor pulled himself up using the building he was leaning up against and tried to move again.

* * *

Sick filled his nose as Cor finished retching up the sick into the water. The seawater must have pulled him around and when Cor blinked away some of the blurriness in his vision, he realised he was at Wesk’s bar. Cor knew where Wesk kept his alcohol. Crawling along the floored decking, Cor got out the key he had swiped before he left Wesk’s home and unlocked the cupboard where his friend locked away all of his cider’s for the night. He threw the door open and grabbed the nearest bottle. The pain in his arm and face started to emerge and he had to get rid of any and all pain to feel normal again. 

* * *

As soon as an alert on Wesk’s phone popped up telling him someone had broken into his bar, he knew it was Cor. Wesk got there as quick as he could and when he saw his little brother sitting in a pool of his own sick and bottles Wesk’s heart rate skyrocketed. Cor looked so out of it. He could barely sit up properly, he was covered in sick and drink, his nose was broken and dry blood plastered the lower part of his face. Cor’s eyes were red with tears and droopy as hell. Cor also had another bottle of cider in his hand and was attempting to drink it. That wasn’t the thing that scared Wesk the most. What scared him was the fact Cor that was sitting dangerously close to the water’s edge. 

“Cor!” Wesk shouted as he ran over to his little brother and pulled him away as quick as he could. But he was met with resistance.

“Get off of me!” Cor screamed pushing Wesk away and going back to where he had been before.

Wesk’s heart was pounding. He knew he had to get Cor away from the edge. Cor was so out of it… Wesk had never seen Cor so wasted before in his entire life. Wesk knew he had to be calm. Cor wasn’t thinking and clearly could not sense the danger he had placed himself in. Slowly and carefully Wesk moved so that he was sitting in front of Cor, so he could catch him if he fell. 

“Cor. Cor you need to come away from the edge. It’s not safe for you to be here.” Wesk said using a calm tone, but he could feel himself shaking. This reminded him of the time that they found Cor half-dead after his fight with Gilgamesh. Wesk thought they were going to lose him then. He was not about to lose his little brother now. 

“I can’t. I can’t take this anymore!!!” Cor wept sniffing away his pain as he aimlessly reached out for one of the empty bottles thinking it was full. 

“Drinking yourself silly is not the answer. Give me the bottle.” Wesk said, holding his hand out in case Cor threw it and it shattered. 

Cor held on to the bottle and shook his head. “I just want it to stop.” 

“It will. I promise. Hand me the bottle.” Wesk repeated calmly, reaching into his pocket to press the call button to contact Ardyn to get his arse here. 

“No.” 

“I understand this…” 

“NO YOU DON’T!!!” Cor screamed in Wesk’s face, flinging the bottle into the dangerously close water. Cor started to bang his fist onto the floor as he continued to cry. “You don’t understand! Ardyn doesn’t understand! He is in my dreams every night! He won’t go! Why won’t he go away!” 

Wesk inhaled sharply as he heard the faint voice of Ardyn answering the phone. This was heartbreaking to hear and heartbreaking to witness. Again, Wesk hadn’t seen Cor this upset ever. He honestly didn’t know what to do. But he was certain of, was that he had to get Cor away from the edge. 

“I don’t know Cor. Only a professional can help you with that. Come away from the edge. You might fall in the water.” 

“I don’t care.” Cor whimpered, letting tears fall, as Wesk slowly grabbed on to his arm that was closest to the water. 

“You’re scared. That’s okay. Be scared. But let me help you be less scared. Just please come away from the edge.” 

“What do I do Wesk?” Cor asked unable to stop the tears falling. 

“Let me help you. Sitting alone in my bar isn’t going to help.” Wesk said, giving Ardyn the information he needed to find their location so they could get Cor to safety. Very slowly. Incredibly slowly, Cor moved to the side and allowed Wesk to hold him. Wesk breathed out his relief and dragged Cor’s, near unresponsive, body away from the edge. He held his little brother close and rocked him from side to side as Cor grabbed onto his arm. “That’s it. I’ve got you.” 

“I am so sorry.” Cor cried, wiping his bloodied face on Wesk’s arm. 

“It’s okay. I promise we are going to get you all the help you need.” 

Ardyn than appeared in front of the two and his heart dropped at the sight of his husband. 

What the fuck had happened to him?

* * *

Cor rolled over. His head was banging and for some reason, he was in his bed at home. Cor blinked. He could hardly remember what had happened last night. He had had an argument with Ardyn, drank some vodka, water was involved, he remembered the smell of sick, and Wesk being there. He couldn’t remember anything else. Why couldn’t he remember anything? He had only had a few drinks. He shouldn’t have been this bad. His face hurt. Why did his face hurt?

Cor slowly sat up, head hurting even more than before, and saw Ardyn sitting at the end of their bed with his back turned to him. 

“You’re awake then.” Ardyn’s tone sounded harsh. 

Cor felt so much guilt hearing his husband speak. Not only did his voice sound harsh, but it also sounded hurt and painful and Cor didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if he had said anything nasty to him last night, he didn’t know if they argued any further. All Cor knew was that he had drunk when he promised he wouldn’t and Ardyn sounded like he was in pain. Cor knew he had to apologise for breaking his promise. 

“Ardyn, I am sorry….” Cor started to say, but Ardyn cut him off.

“Sorry for what? Drinking? Or are you sorry for nearly being the cause of your own death last night?” 

“I… I, I did what?” Cor said breathlessly, what the hell had happened? 

Ardyn turned around to face Cor. When Ardyn found Wesk and Cor, Ardyn took Cor home and asked Wesk to look after Prom and Cerbie until Ardyn came back for them. He hadn’t been back yet. He had been sitting here nursing Cor to make sure he didn’t choke on his own sick. He had been here trying his hardest not to cry as Cor screamed in his face that he didn’t care if he drowned in that water or not. When Ardyn tried to get Cor out of his sick, bloodied and drink stained clothes, Cor cried and panicked thinking that Ardyn was Drautos. That one hurt so much. As soon as Cor screamed that at him, Ardyn was sick. How could Cor possibly think that he was that man? Ardyn became scared of himself and how drunk Cor was, he had to call Clarus to come over and calm Cor down, because his husband was still convinced he was the Captain. They couldn’t carry on like this. Cor needed more help than he was letting on. The worst part of all of this was that Cor clearly didn’t remember what was said. 

Ardyn stood up and handed Cor some water. “You got wasted last night and you could have died. Don’t ever do that again.”

“Ardyn I didn’t mean…” Cor said trailing off, as he couldn’t believe he allowed himself to get like that. How could he… what? Did he say anything else? Had he done anything else? 

Ardyn couldn’t help but raise his voice in pain. “You could have died! You could have fallen in that water and you could have died! Don’t ever do that again!” 

“That wasn’t what I wanted to happen. I am sorry!” Cor said back, realised how scary that must have been for Ardyn and Prom… where was Prom? 

“No, you wanted to get wasted near miles of open water on your own! What did you think was going to happen!” 

“I am sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. Ardyn please, I am so, so, so sorry.” Cor cried hanging on to Ardyn’s hand. He was so ashamed of himself. 

Ardyn let Cor hold his hand and gulped away all the painful things said in the early hours of the morning. Ardyn was going to tell Cor what he had said. There was no way he couldn’t keep that from him. But for now, the fear in Cor’s eyes made Ardyn believe him. Making his husband sadder and filling him with more regret would not help anyone. 

Ardyn rubbed his thumb along Cor’s knuckles and said sternly. “I love you. I don’t know how many times I can say it before you realise that? I would happily go through everything that Somnus did to me again, and again, and again if it meant you understood how much I care. How much love I have to give you. You don’t need the drink Cor. You don’t need to suffer the pain. You need me, Prom and our family. You have all of that.” 

“I know.” Cor sniffed, consumed with guilt. Because he didn’t want to know what else was said, he couldn’t make this any better, 

“No, you don’t. No. No, you don’t.” 


	4. Do You See The Issue Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter it a little more hopeful now!!!
> 
> Please enjoy:)

“Mate?” 

“Dad, I don’t want to hear it.” 

Prom was very upset by what had taken place and very, very, very embarrassed. He understood that his dad had a drinking problem. Clearly it was bigger then he was letting on, but he did that when he had Iggy round? Or at uncle Wesk’s house? Cor had scared Prom so much because for at least two hours no one knew where Cor had gone. For all Prom knew, Cor could have drowned and he nearly fucking did. During those horrible two hours, Prom had to be the one to calm Ardyn down and make sure Cerbie didn’t escape to go and help Wesk look for their daddy. It was horrible and then when Ardyn left and Wesk came back, Prom just cried on Ignis. Because he didn’t understand why Cor was doing this. He didn’t understand after months of their family being strained, battered and broken, why Cor would put all of that at risk again for a drink? Cor felt very guilty. He had apologised to Ardyn and Wesk but Prom hadn’t been at home for a few days, purposely avoiding him. Cor didn’t want their relationship strained ever again. He really didn’t. Gods only knew what Ignis thought of him? Or Regis and Clarus… Cor hadn’t seen them yet, but Ardyn had. They were going to be so upset he hadn’t told them about the drinking. Cor knew what happened was unacceptable. It would never happen again. He couldn’t let himself end up like that again. 

“I didn’t mean for that to happen you know.” Cor said shamefully in a low voice. 

“Yeah, I get it.” Prom rolled his eyes, stroking their dog. Cerbie wasn’t impressed by his and Prom’s daddy’s behaviour either. 

“Look, Prom, I promise…” 

“What that you won’t do it again?!” Prom said cutting Cor off because he couldn’t let him finish that sentence. Prom was sick of promises being made that none of them could keep. “You have a problem dad. A serious one. It won’t get better if you don’t want to fix it.” 

“I do want to… it’s just difficult...” Cor stuttered. 

Because to Cor, this still wasn’t a problem. He knew what had happened was stupid and dangerous and he had made Ardyn, Prom, Cerbie, Wesk and Ignis all fear for his life, but it wasn’t an issue yet, right? Cor had made sure of that by going cold turkey. And he only drank because he was upset…. Right… as Cor tried to justify his own actions to himself it was starting to sound like excuses. 

Prom rolled his eyes and walked over to his dad, with Cerbie positioning himself in between the two. The daemon dog knew his brother was upset and he knew his daddy was upset. If he was in the middle it meant he could try and comfort them both. 

As Prompto tried to explain this to his dad, he started to shake with unwanted emotions. “Difficult? I have an eating disorder. Do you know how difficult it was, still is, to put food into my mouth thinking I am going to end up the size of a house! Then hate myself because I thought everyone hated me and would only like me if I was thin! That was difficult to get through. But I had you and dad. You have me and Dad! Don’t make that an excuse for the drinking, dad. You don’t need it.” 

“You’re right I am sorry, Prom.” Cor looked down at his dog who was rubbing one of his heads against his legs for support. Refusing to let tears spill, Cor patted Cerbie on the head and looked up at his child. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Just sort your self out cause you are the only one that can do it. I don’t want to lose you again. I don’t want us to ever stop talking again.” 

“You won’t, that won’t happen. I promise.” Cor said with hope in his voice. 

This conversation with his baby made him feel like crap. Because his son shouldn’t be doing this. He wasn’t the one who should be telling him right from wrong, and that was what Prom was doing. Ardyn was going to be annoyed Prom had done this. Why was everything falling apart? Everything was meant to get better after Drautos died. But it hadn’t got better. Why? What was wrong?

* * *

Not even a day later Ardyn told Cor that Regis and Clarus wanted to speak to him. 

Cor gulped. He knew this was coming. He might as well get it over and done with. When the Marshal got there Ardyn said he had to go home for some reason, Cor didn’t know why Ardyn refused to tell him, and the Marshal made his way towards his new office were the King and Sheild both were. When he saw them, Cor expected a slap on the wrist. He thought Regis would cry and ask why he felt that he couldn’t confide in them, Clarus might get angry and tell him what an idiot he was being and he needed to seek help. That wasn’t what happened. For some reason, Regis and Clarus had swapped roles and the King was the one that was angry not Clarus. 

The first thing that came out of Regis’s mouth after Cor closed his door behind him, shocked the Marshal.

“I am suspending you.” 

“What? Why?” 

“Because you need time off and you aren’t taking it.” 

Cor had been suspended before. Quite a few times. Mainly because he hadn’t listened when he was out on the battlefield and did it anyway. Or when his health was seriously affecting him and he refused to comply. But this wasn’t either of those times! All he did was get pissed! He wasn’t even working he was on fucking holiday! 

“Is this because of what happened in Altissa? It was a tiny mistake. A hiccup.” Cor stated, raising his voice. 

“A hiccup that you could have died from!” Regis shouted back, visibly upset that they nearly lost Cor. But rage was the main emotion being expressed, that wasn’t normal for Regis to behave like this. 

“And don’t give us that bullcrap that you nearly die on missions all the time, this is different. We know okay. Wesk and Ardyn explained to us what has been going on. Why didn’t you tell us?” Clarus wasn’t shouting. He was upset. Very upset. His eyes were going red. 

“I have it under control.” Cor said, not looking at either of them. 

(He was lying to himself now)

Regis didn’t want to hear the lies. He didn’t want to hear any of this crap. He was scared for Cor. He was not fit for service at the moment. Regis knew he should have insisted that Cor have time off work to recover properly. Well, Cor was getting it now and he was not questioning him on the matter either. “No, you don’t, Cor. You are suspended until further notice. This is for your own good.” 

“Regis, please.” Cor begged. 

He had to work. It was the only thing (other than maybe drinking) that was keeping him sane. He wasn’t alone if he was in the Citadel. He was with everyone who cared and loved him. He had to be here. He had to be here where it was now safe. 

“No. Not until you recognise that this is a problem and that you apologise to Ardyn.” 

“Regis.” Clarus warned. 

“I have done that already!” Cor shouted back at his King. Fairly offended that Regis hadn’t thought he had done that yet. 

“Oh no, you haven’t.” Regis shouted back, completely ignoring his Shield’s warning. 

“I did. I told him I wouldn’t do it again.” 

“I am not talking about that! I mean what you said to him!” 

“Regis stop!” Clarus did shout that time. 

Clarus and Ardyn told Regis everything that had happened that night. Including the fact that Cor had mistaken his husband for Drautos and that Clarus had to go over there to calm both Cor and Ardyn down. Both of them were a mess. Cor was crying and sobbing and fearing for his life. Ardyn was shaking, shocked into silence. It was horrible. Cor was still none the wiser to any of this. The last time Regis spoke to his uncle about it, Ardyn was so upset he just shut down and said he didn’t want to talk about it. The King knew if Ardyn kept this from Cor, it would come out eventually and any progression made from here on out would just disappear. This is why he wanted to tell Cor, for his own benefit. He just wanted things to get better, and this was why Regis was so wound up. Because unless Cor and Ardyn were each aware of all the facts, nothing was going to get better. 

“What did I say?” Cor asked, with confusion. 

“You know Ardyn hasn’t told him, Reggie. Just be quiet.” 

“Told me what?” Cor asked again, voice getting more strained. He didn’t like this. “What? What did I say to Ardyn? Please tell me?” 

So the King and Shield did.

* * *

Cor jumped off his motorbike and ran into his house, desperate to find Ardyn and tell him how sorry he was. Cor felt so disgusted in himself for saying all of that to Ardyn. How could even he do that?! How could he stand there and confuse the love of his life with a monster?! Drunk or not, that was completely unacceptable. It was outright cruel, horrible, disgusting and Cor hated himself for doing that to his husband! Ardyn must be feeling so terrible and hurt and that was all Cor’s fault. No one else. If he hadn’t of drank he would have never of said that! This wasn’t him. Cor had no idea what he was turning into, but he didn’t want to do this anymore. He couldn’t do this anymore. Not to Ardyn or Prompto. Not to anyone. 

“PROM! Prom! Where is your dad!” Cor shouted, running into the kitchen. 

Prom pointed upstairs and asked, worried as to why his dad looked so upset and distressed. “Upstairs. Dad, what’s wrong?!” 

“ARDYN!” Cor called out ignoring his son’s words and ran up the stairs. The Marshal ran straight into his and Ardyn’s bedroom and when he saw his husband sitting on the bed, Cor fell to his knees, held on to Ardyn’s hand and begged for his forgiveness. “Ardyn, I am so sorry please, please, forgive me.” 

“What are you on about? I know you said sorry.” Ardyn said lightly, rubbing his thumbs along Cor’s hands to calm him down. Thinking that Cor better not be drunk again.

“I mean for what I said when you tried to help me get dressed.” Cor cried holding his husband’s hands tighter. In doing so he felt Ardyn tense up, this was all Cor’s fault... “I can’t believe I would ever say that to you. I didn’t mean it. I would never mean that. I love you so much, and I am so sorry. Please forgive me.” 

Ardyn gulped. A small part of him wanted to kill Clarus for telling Cor what had happened, but another part of him was grateful it was all out in the open. It meant that Ardyn was no longer keeping it from Cor and there were no secrets again. Just to check that was the case, Ardyn sniffed to make sure he couldn’t smell any alcohol on Cor. When Ardyn couldn’t, he relax, bent down and kissed Cor on the forehead. He loved Cor so much and he hated seeing him cry. 

“I know, My Marshal. I love you too.” 

“Look, I promise. I’ll go to a drink support group and I will never touch another drop of the stuff again. I’ll go to whatever group you want me to go to get better. Please don’t hate me. I can’t bear the thought of you hating me again… Please?” Cor whimpered, burying his head in Ardyn’s lap, hating himself for doing all of this. It took Cor calling Ardyn by the name of his attacker to realise it… Cor wasn’t doing this again, he wasn’t putting them through this shit any longer. He needed help. He needed to get it now. 

“Cor, it’s okay.” Ardyn said softly running his hand through Cor’s hair to give him much-needed comfort. Hearing Cor say that took so much weight off his shoulder’s. “I didn’t say anything because I knew this would be the reaction.” 

“I don’t care how I feel Ardyn, I care how you feel though. I just… want you to know that I am sorry. Do you forgive me?” Cor let out a raspy breath through his tears, looking into his husband’s honey eyes. 

Ardyn placed a hand to Cor’s cheek and gave him a soft smile. “Yes, I do forgive you. But you have to promise to go to these things. Groups, support classes, therapy sessions, all of it. You have to attend so you can get better. That is all I want.” 

“Yes! Yes! Anything!” Cor nodded, frantically as he raised himself from the floor to kiss Ardyn. 

“Okay, thank you.” 

Things had to get better now surely. 

* * *

Cor did as he promised. The next day he went to a support group. He listened to Regis and Clarus and decided while he was going through the withdrawal period he wouldn’t come into work. (Cor knew this was going to happen because he had hidden a secret stash of drink in the house and was using that to feed his addiction until everything died down) He worked with Stella and another therapist to help him understand that he didn’t need to drink and that he was doing more damage than good. He could see that now. After what he said to Ardyn… and the stress he put everyone through… and nearly dying… it was unacceptable. He was never doing that to the people he loved again. Because Cor was so determined to get better and stop this, he opened up to both Stella and his new councillor about everything. About all the times Drautos attacked him, about the way alcohol made him feel, that he wasn’t over his ordeal yet. That was clear enough but he wasn’t going to get better if he didn’t speak. This was tough. The withdrawal part of his recovery was so fucking hard. Stella had told him it would take around 5 to 7 days for the withdrawal symptoms to lessen but if Cor was serious about this he needed to take control and push on through. Drinking a lot of water and eating would help because psychologically he would be doing the action that would lead to him getting his fix. But it didn’t stop the headaches and migraines from coming. It didn’t stop his body from shaking and the need to drink got stronger as he knew alcohol would stop this. Ardyn was there every step of the way to make sure he didn’t slip up. The first week of this was going to be the hardest and Cor needed all the support he could get. Ardyn was there through Cor’s anxiety attacks, he was there when he got to his lowest point and there when Cor started to sweat and be sick. Ardyn never left his husband’s side and it was difficult but they needed to get through this together, not apart.

Cor managed to push through that week and everything stopped. However, the need to drink was still there. Still worming its way around in the back of his head. Still telling him he needed it to function. It was hard to ignore. It was hard to put to rest but Cor had to push on. For Ardyn, Prom and Cerbie he had to. Stella also warned Cor, that when it came to addictions, people tended to break from one by replacing it with another. She didn’t want him to fall into that trap and suggest he try to do something healthy and productive to fill his time.

Cor thought he knew of a way to do that.

Oen night after coming back from one of his support groups, he sat on the sofa with Ardyn nudged his husband. 

“Ardyn can we…” 

“No.” Ardyn shook his head already knowing what Cor was about to suggest. “You aren’t ready for sex yet. Right now, we both know you are trying to replace an addiction with another one.” 

Cor rolled his eyes. Sometimes it irritated him how well Ardyn knew him. Actually… no. Cor took that back. He loved the fact Ardyn knew him that well. It was lovely to love and care for someone so much that they were also your best friend. They were best friends before they got together all those years ago, it was nice to maintain that. But Ardyn wasn’t entirely correct in what Cor wanted. Seeing Stella privately, she suggested that masturbation was a good way to get the feeling of control back and making sex a thing of pleasure, not pain. So Cor tried it. It was good. It felt good. It was difficult to start off with but once Cor told himself, he was safe and everything was okay and Drautos was dead, he enjoyed it. He was enjoying it again. That was what Cor wanted. But he wanted Ardyn to touch him. He wanted to go back to having positive experiences with sex and doing this with the man he loved, would help him achieve that. 

“I didn’t want sex. I know I can’t do that yet. But can you touch me?” 

Ardyn let out a sigh. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. He’d be happy to do this but there was something holding him back. He didn’t want to admit it but for the sake of his marriage, he had to. “I don’t want you to mistake me for that man again.” 

Cor’s face saddened and he grabbed Ardyn’s arm. “I won’t. I promise.” 

“You don’t know that. Whenever we have tried me touching you, you have a panic attack. I know that isn’t your fault, I understand that. But I don’t want you to… it hurt. I forgave you but it hurt me being referred to him.” Ardyn said sadly, that wound was still fresh and he didn’t want to be hurt like that again. 

“Okay, you’re right. I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have...” Cor nodded, knowing it was not the right time to do this yet. 

“Hug?” Ardyn suggested, opening up his arms for Cor to fall into. 

The Marshal happily accepted. 

“I love you Ardyn. I really do.” 

“I know sweetheart. I know you do. I love you with everything I have too.” 

* * *

Was it the people? Was it the Citadel? Was it the smell of the halls? Was it the fact he could do this and he hadn’t get caught? Cor didn’t have a single clue. It had been a couple of weeks now and Regis and Clarus said he could go back to work. Oh, perhaps it was the stress? Nevermind what it was, Cor had had a bad day and he currently had a small bottle of vodka in his pocket. All he was going to do was sip at it. Nothing more. He wouldn’t go down a bender it was literally one sip. But as he made his way towards the kitchen he was stopped by his three-headed dog and boy did Cerbie looked pissed. 

“Don’t look at me like that I have had a bad day.” Cor muttered, pushing passed Cerbie to get a glass from out of the cabinet. 

Cerbie started to panic. He started to bark himself silly and growl at his daddy for him to stop what he was doing. However, both he and the Marshal knew that Cerbie wasn’t just doing this to tell him off, he was doing it to alert Ardyn. 

“Stop.” Cor snapped.

Cerbie did not listen. His barking got louder and he started jumping up and down so his barks would carry further. He was not having his daddy do this to them again. Not when he promised. 

“Cerbie.” Cor said in an angry voice but by that point, it was too late. Ardyn had already heard their dog’s cries and was now in the kitchen. 

“What’s wrong now?” Ardyn asked, bending down to soothe Cerbie. 

“Nothing.” Cor lied, not looking at his husband. 

“Cerbie can tell me, you know that right?” 

“Fine.” Cor gritted his teeth together. He hated getting caught now they were bound to have an argument. He placed the bottle in Ardyn’s hands and raised his voice. “Here. Have it.” 

“You? You were going to drink this?!” Ardyn shouted nearly sounding mortified. 

Ardyn had thought that this was all behind them, that Cor was getting better. How could he have been so wrong? How could have… I mean… Cor promised him! Cor promised Prom and he lied again. If he wasn’t so shocked and upset by the revelation Ardyn would be furious. He would have picked up Cor and put him in the nearest rehab and left him there. This was not right. This was not on at all. 

“I didn’t drink it though.” Cor said lowly, understanding why Ardyn was upset. Seeing his husband liked this, shame hit him. 

“I am glad you haven’t. But Cor.... You promised me.” 

“I didn’t break it. I am sorry. I was upset and I wasn’t thinking straight.” 

“You can’t have this! You will go back down a spiral again!” Ardyn did shout than. 

He then thew the bottle into his armiger and than proceeded to remind Cor of everything that could happen to him. He even went as far as to show him numerous of videos of the effects of drinking and this was why Cor shouldn’t do this to himself. Do this to them! The entire time, Cor stared blankly at the screen and put himself in those videos. And what the fuck was he thinking? 

“I know… I am sorry” Cor sniffed, after the last one had finished. 

Ardyn rubbed Cor’s back and attempted to understand his husband before getting angry. “Why do you want to do this?” 

“Because it does make things a little bearable.” 

“For you. But not for me or Prom.” Ardyn stated. Even if Ardyn couldn’t fully persuade Cor maybe the thought of their child would.

“That’s why I won’t touch it.” Cor whimpered, rubbing his face so no tears fell. 

“We need to see Stella now.” 

“Ardyn, we only saw her two days again.” 

“I don’t care.” 

“Okay.” 

Right. Cor knew he should have just never touched that bloody bottle than. 


	5. Does This Give You Hope?

Clarus said a very long time ago, when he first found out his real age, that Cor could always go to him. No matter the time, no matter the place, the weather, the nature of the talk, Cor could always rely on Clarus Amicitia for anything he could ever possibly need. So far that had always rung true. Clarus was the first person Cor came out too, Clarus was his best man at his wedding, Clarus was the one to help him and Ardyn look after Prom for the first couple of weeks, Clarus was the only one to call bullshit on the whole Drautos situation, and above all else, Clarus was the big brother Cor never had. So here the Marshal was at 3:03 in the morning, sitting in Clarus’s study at his manor, sipping at the coffee his friend had given him. Cor just needed to get away from his house for a few hours. He left Ardyn a note telling him where he was so he didn’t panic and came straight here. Cor had a confession to make, and he felt like he could only tell his big brother right now. 

“How are you feeling now?” Clarus asked, after 10 minutes of sitting in total silence. 

“Better.” Cor nodded. It wasn’t a lie. He was feeling better to a certain extent. 

“Good.” 

The Shield knew Cor was half arseing that yes. Because if Cor was okay, he wouldn’t be here in the dead of night. If Clarus was honest, he was surprised that Cor hadn’t done this yet. It was a perfect hideaway for Cor. Gladiolus was never here anymore, and Iris was constantly busy and if she were here she would always greet Cor into the house with open arms. She’d give him space, call Clarus and than Cor would know that he was safe. That was what this was right? Cor was here in order to feel safe. From what exactly, was unclear. But it could only be one of two things. Bad dreams or the drinking. Clarus had a feeling it was the latter of the two, but he wouldn’t know unless Cor told him. Clarus was more than happy to wait for Cor to talk, however long that took the stubborn man. 

Cor bit his lip and breathed out tiredly. “Clarus… I don’t think I can do this anymore.” 

“Do what?” Clarus asked without emotion. If he expressed any in that second it would have been fear and worry. Clarus didn’t want Cor to clam up on him now. 

“Remain sober. It’s been a few weeks now and I hate it. I get stressed and then I think about everything that has happened. Then I get frustrated and upset and then I think about drinking. I can’t… I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” 

“Okay...” Clarus said putting his drink to one side before leaning forward in his chair. “Cor, it’s been a few weeks. You have made it this far, you know you can do this.” 

“How?” Cor shook his head. He didn’t believe it, so how was he meant to remain sober? 

“You talk. You talk to me, Ardyn, Regis, your therapist, Monica, Dustin, anyone you feel comfortable with.” 

“That doesn’t always work you know.” 

Right. Clarus thought to himself. Cor was at a low point in his life. His little brother’s future was uncertain, his mental health was poor and he had been through a lot of trauma in the last few months. It was shit. None of it was fair, but Clarus realised something. Cor didn’t respond to being pussyfooted around. The only reason why he told them about the rape and the abuse he was being put through, was because Prompto was in danger. The only reason why Cor was trying to stop drinking was because of what he said to Ardyn and how his words had affected his husband. Cor needed to hear some harsh truths. Unfortunately, no one had given him any. That was going to change tonight. And Clarus wasn’t too kind about it either. 

“I understand that. But right now, you need to think about Prom. Ardyn. And your job. I am not being funny Cor, I understand you are suffering from depression, PTSD, alcoholism, anxiety. I get that. And Regis, Somnus and I can help and support you with three of those things, but the drinking you could lose your job over that. Just because you are Regis’s uncle by law and his honorary little brother, it doesn’t change the fact if you touch another drop of alcohol you won’t be fit for service. We all know you don’t want to lose your job Cor.” 

Cor’s face hardened. He hadn’t thought about that before. He’d been suspended and unsuspended again but… there was only so much Regis could take before he had to find a replacement to run the guard… shit. 

“No, I don’t.” Cor whispered as a wave of reality hit him. 

Clarus closed his eyes in relief. Thank Eos that had worked. “If you don’t want to lose your son, your husband or your job, then you know what you have to do.” 

“Yeah.” 

How could he have been so fucking stupid? Cor loved his job. He was good at it. The best Lucis had had in a very long time. He was putting his career and his family’s well being in jeopardy by thinking about touching the stuff again. After he promised Ardyn and Stella and Prom and everyone he wouldn’t… he couldn’t. Clarus’s words may have been harsh but none of them were false. Right. Cor was taking it seriously before, but now he was going to take this to a whole another level and do what he needed to do for everyone else. Stop. Get help. Love and respect what he had and who he was. It would be hard. 

But the bottle couldn’t be the fall of Cor the Immortal. 

Gilgamesh hadn’t been. Niflheim hadn’t been. Verstael hadn’t been. Drautos… nearly was. But he still hadn’t destroyed him or ended him. Cor would be damned if he allowed the bottle to end him now. 

Cor needed Ardyn. He needed him now. 

“Can you call Ardyn please?” Cor asked weakly.

“Of course.” 

Clarus called Ardyn and the phone rang. He didn’t even pick up the phone to answer Clarus, Ardyn knew why the Shield was calling and arrived there within seconds. 

“Is everything okay?” Ardyn asked quickly. 

“I…” Cor stuttered before openly saying what he hadn’t admitted before now. “I am an alcoholic. I need your help. Will you help me?” 

Ardyn knelt down on the floor and took Cor’s face in his hands and he smiled at him. “You’ve got it. Now and forever, my darling.”

Cor nodded and wept silently, placing a hand on top of Ardyn’s. “Thank you.” 

* * *

Things had been better since Cor had admitted it. A lot better. Work was better. The day got better. His relationship with everyone around him was better. Things were looking brighter. The voice telling him he needed to drink was still there, but it was quieter. It was less persuasive than before and Cor could ignore it. It was still hard. It was probably going to be hard for a very long time. He was okay with that. Only if this worked and he never touched a drop again, Cor was going to be okay. He hoped so anyway. Now he kind of had a better understanding of how Ardyn and Prom lived their lives every day. Ardyn’s head was telling him to kill Noctis and destroy everything, Prom’s was telling him lies and trying to convince him he was fat. But if they could push on and fight their daemons, then so could Cor. And Cor was going to do it. However, there was still something else that wasn’t so bright in his life that Cor wanted to fix. That was his sex life. The Marshal still wanted to be able to not have a panic attack every time they tried Ardyn touching him. Cor still wanted to feel normal every time he touched his husband. But because Ardyn had been saying no for a while now, about doing ‘stuff’ Cor was taking on board about what Stella had told him and resorted in pleasuring himself. It was helping but he didn’t really like to do it when people were around. He still had this lingering feeling of dirt that Drautos left behind and a sense of being unworthy. But he was slowly coming around to the idea that he could… do this. He could be normal again. 

This evening, Prompto was out with Ignis, Cor still needed to apologise to Ignis for what happened in Altissa, and Ardyn was taking Cerbie out on a walk, which meant Cor had the house to himself. Cor had all the privacy he needed. He didn’t mind Ardyn being in the house while he did this sometimes but maybe Ardyn was right. Maybe Cor was trying to replace drinking with sex and he did not want to put Ardyn any pressure at all. So when he was certain that no one would be returning for at least 20 minutes, he put on a condom to reduce the mess, sat on his bed and ran his hand up and down his shaft. Cor let out a sigh and closed his eyes as he gradually flicked his wrist faster. He spread his legs a little wider and the thought of Ardyn doing this to him came to mind. Cor groaned and bucked into his own hand thinking of what Ardyn used to say to him to coax him on. He gripped the bed sheets with his free hand and moaned his husband’s name like a prayer. 

“Ardyn…”

As Cor’s hand moved faster, his panting increased, he bucked his hips faster and the lustful and loving moans of his husband’s name got louder. Cor was so focused on what he was doing he didn’t hear the front door go, nor the footsteps making the way to his room as his voice got louder and more passionate.

“Ardyn… naggh! Ardyn!” 

Just like that the door flew open and Ardyn came through it looking incredibly worried. “Yes! what?!” 

“Shit!” Cor caught his breath and stopped what he was doing immediately. Cor couldn’t stop himself from going red as he took his hand away from himself before looking at Ardyn. This was awkward… it shouldn’t be but it was... “Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you...”

“You don’t have to be sorry….” Ardyn shook his head. He closed the door behind him and asked carefully. “Mind if I join you?” 

Cor’s heart rate went back up again. Did Ardyn really just ask him that? After weeks of rejection and… did he really? 

“No, not at all.” Cor nodded. 

Ardyn gulped, hoping that was what Cor really wanted, needed and meant. It had been a while and yes Ardyn was willing to wait or never have sex again, but he wanted Cor. He wanted to make Cor feel good again. In Cor’s own words: feel loved again. He slowly walked over to the bed, lay down beside his husband and gave Cor his hand. He didn’t want to make any sudden movements and Cor had to be in charge of this. They stared into each other’s eyes and Cor very slowly took Ardyn’s hand and guided it to his manhood. Ardyn ran his fingers along Cor but nothing more until Cor gave him permission. 

“I love you, Ass Hat.” Cor said breathlessly, and he didn’t want to cry. He didn’t feel panicked. All he could think about and focus on was the golden glistening eyes that were staring back at him. 

“I love you too. Would you like me to carry on?” 

“Yeah...”

Ardyn nodded, carefully wrapped his hand around Cor’s erection and moved his hand up and down and never once did their eyes drift apart from the others. Cor gripped the bed, and Ardyn’s free hand as he began to slowly pant and moan. Cor moved his hips forward and let out a throaty moan when Ardyn went a little faster. 

“Arrghh!” 

“Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay.” Ardyn whispered, kissing Cor lightly on the cheek moving his hand faster. 

“Nggh! Fuck!”

Cor’s panting got harsher and so did the grip on the bed and Ardyn’s hand. He hadn’t felt real and true pleasure like this in such a long time and his husband was the one that was giving it to him. Was the one making him harder, making him sweat, making lose control but at the same time he felt so safe and secure. Ardyn was holding his hand tightly, but not enough to be considered forceful. Ardyn was jerking him off quickly, and he only tightened his grip when Cor thrusted up into his hand harder. Cor kissed Ardyn on the lips and whimpered on to his mouth as he reached down to touch Ardyn too. 

Ardyn chuckled and shook his head to tell Cor he didn’t need to do the same. “It’s okay, you’re okay. Focus on you.”

So Cor did. He removed his hand from Ardyn’s crotch and placed it on Ardyn’s hand that was giving him pleasure. Cor was in control and guided Ardyn to go faster and slower depending on how much Cor could take. Their eyes met again and Cor loved it. There was so much love in thatone stare and it was making Cor crazier. This was what sex was. This was what he wanted sex to be like every time. Making him lose control in a good healthy way and be with the man he loved and that looked at him like nothing else mattered on Eos. Cor’s moan got heavier as the speed of their strokes got faster and Cor wouldn’t last for much longer. 

“Ardyn... I’m gonna… I’m gonna…. come!” 

“Do it then, my darling.” Ardyn smiled, encouraging him with light kisses. 

“Ardyn!” Cor stiffened up and came hard. He flopped his limp body back on the bed and let out a long blissful sigh as Ardyn continued to kiss his face. Cor turned his head and breathlessly caught his lips with Ardyn. “Thank you.” 

“You are welcome, My Marshal. Come here.” Ardyn gestured sitting up so he could hold Cor close to him. 

The Marshal accepted the offer and snuggled down into his husband’s chest. “I’m tired.” 

“I would have thought so. You can go to sleep” Ardyn laughed lightly, stroking Cor’s hair. 

“I would but you will think too loudly.” 

“Okay, I’ll sleep too.” 

Cor slept. He slept well. Not one nightmare and he felt so safe in his husband’s arms.

* * *

“Alright, alright, Cerbie. Stop barking.” 

Cor ordered at his barking dog. Cor hated it when people rung the doorbell it set Cerberus right off but the thing was no one had. Cerbie never barked when someone knocked, so whoever it was Cerbie must really not like them. For that reason, Cor took caution when opening the door. Cerbie had much better and stronger instincts than he did anyway. When Cor looked through the peek hole he let out a sigh and gave Cerbie a cold stare to tell him to be quiet. The daemon dog was just being a prick. Cor quickly opened the door and greeted the person on his doorstep. 

“Hey Somnus, what are you doing here?” 

“I’ve come to see you. Can I come in?” Somnus asked looking very nerveous. 

“Sure.” Cor nodded fighting the urge to laugh and let his brother-in-law into his house. It was actually pretty funny how scared Somnus was of Cerberus. Then again, Somnus found it funny how scared Cor was of Gilgamesh. But to make sure Somnus was comfortable Cor turned to his dog and told him. “Cerbie be nice to Somnus. Som, say hello to him or he’ll get offended.” 

“Hello, Cerberus.” Somnus gulped, not stepping an inch closer to the dog that was giving him a death glare with all three sets of eyes. The Founder King shivered when Cerbie growled at him. He really hated this dog. 

“Cerbie, dada will get angry if you do that.” Cor warned making Cerbie stop growling. But his eyes were still locked onto Somnus. There was nothing Cor could do to stop him from doing that. “Anyway Somnus, what can I help you with.” 

“Listen Ardyn has told me about what’s going on.” Somnus said lowly trying his hardest to ignore the daemon quietly sitting in the corner, just waiting to rip his head off at any given second.

“Everyone knows I have a drinking problem.” 

“No. That’s not what I meant. About what’s not going on in the bedroom.” 

Cor clicked his tongue in annoyance. Great… That was just the thing he needed to hear right now. At this point, Cor would have moved the conversation into the living room, but he was mildly offended and he already wanted Somnus to piss off. So for the fucking time being, they could talk in the hallway. 

“I am sorry, why did you want to come here again?” Cor asked with a hint of aggression in his voice. 

Somnus didn’t want that reaction. He raised his hands in the air and try to explain himself. “Cor I didn’t mean to offend you. I am trying to help you.” 

“Really? Your brother is going to hit the roof when he knows you have asked me about this.” 

“Yes, he probably will. But it is for the better that he doesn’t know about us talking. Because I think I know why you can’t have sex with him. It’s because you know how long he has left on Eos and you are worried, you won’t be good enough for him for the rest of the time you have together.” 

Cor stared at Somnus and he was a little creeped out by that. He hadn’t told anyone that. Not a single person. Because Somnus was right. Yes, Drautos got in the way, but the feeling Cor wouldn’t be ‘normal’ again by the time Ardyn died, it broke Cor’s heart. He had sat on his own many of time thinking that Ardyn would be better off with someone else. Than he remembered what he had told Ardyn when Ardyn tried to break up with him 8 months after they first got together, and Cor knew he was just being dumb. But hearing someone else say it, someone who he hadn’t really been speaking too in quite sometime… Cor didn’t know. It felt strange. 

“What are you, a mind reader now?” Cor joked away his unease, but Somnus refused to let him pull away from this conversation. 

“Cor I am being serious. Am I right?” Somnus asked. There was no hint of comfort in his voice it was just normal. 

Not wanting a fight and wanting Somnus to leave Cor nodded. “Yeah, that about sums it up.” 

“I have come here to tell you, you don’t need to worry anymore. Because Ardyn isn’t going anywhere.” 

A low daemonic growl filled the air as Cor’s heart stung with pain. Now this was fucking cruel. Cor knew he should have kicked Somnus out the moment he first offended him. But so he could get a word in, Cor told Cerbie to be quiet before putting his attention on Somnus. Cor didn’t like talking about this. It hurt too much. 

“Cerbie stop. Somnus, please don’t. Ardyn is going to die. There is nothing anyone can do to change this.” 

“I am. I am changing it. I am not letting either my brother or grandchild die for something I caused.” Somnus said with confidence in his voice. 

“What are you on about?” Cor shook his head trying not to cry. 

Somnus didn’t want to cause Cor any pain. The only reason why he had come here was to give Cor some hope. The Marshal had been through so much as of late and he needed all the help he could get. If that meant he had to reveal to Cor what he had already decided so be it. Ardyn and Noctis having a life was more important than Somnus and if Cor wasn’t here, Ardyn wouldn’t see a life worth living anymore. 

Again, confidence filled the air and Somnus made sure he was looking Cor in the eye as he said this. “You know why Ardyn’s immortal because a piece of his soul is trapped in the beyond. In order to save him and Eos, the King of Light, Noctis has to sacrifice himself to get into the beyond and kill him.” 

“I know how my husband and nephew are going to die.” Cor said abruptly wanting Somnus to stop already. 

“That is the thing, they don’t have to die. I am going to take Noct’s place and destroy Ardyn’s soul.” 

“What?” Cor asked in disbelief. Somnus was going to what? 

“Hear me out. Noctis deserves to live right. He is the innocent party in all of this and it isn’t right to force him to die for everyone. As for Ardyn… I took everything away from him. Now, he has you and Prom, only to lose you again when you two need him more than ever. I can’t stand by and let that happen. I am going to take Noct’s place. I am going to save them both and kill that fucking God. So you can have your husband and Prom can have his dad.” 

Cor froze in place. No. No. No. That would never work. What the fuck was Somnus on about? There was so many questions swimming around in his mind. Why was Somnus saying this? Why did he think it would work? Where had this idea come from? When did this first occur to the Founder King that this could be an option? NO!! What was Cor saying this couldn’t be an option! 

“How is that going to work?” Cor asked, wanting to find doubt in Somnus’s words. 

“It just will. Do you understand what I am giving you? I am giving you a chance to have your family. You can’t tell Ardyn or Noctis or anyone about this. They would never let me do it. But I have too. I have to do this for them. For our family. Please Cor let me give this gift to you.” Somnus begged. This was all he could think about for months and now he had said it to someone, he had to follow through with his plan.

“I can’t let you do that…” Cor said with tears forming in his eyes. A wave of emotions hit him and he didn’t know what to think. He could have Ardyn… at the cost of Somnus’s life… no. Cor didn’t want that...

“Cor, please, I want to. I want to… My life on Eos is over. But Noctis’s, Ardyn’s, Prom’s, yours. It’s only just begun. As your brother in law, please let me do this.” Somnus still had a lot to explain but the important thing was that Cor was listening to him. The Marshal was probably the only one that would. 

And he did. All Cor could do was cry at the words his brother-in-law had just spoken and how brave and selfless the act was. 

“Thank you, Somnus.” Cor let a tear roll down his cheek as he hugged his brother in law without warning. Cor couldn’t and didn’t understand what Somnus was doing but it filled his heart with hope and it broke at the same time. Not for the reason that he might have Ardyn longer than expected. It was breaking and filled with love because Somnus was willing to protect this family at his own expectence and for his brother. For Ardyn. “Thank you so much!”

“It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.” Somnus smiled hugging Cor back. He had to do it now. No going back. 

Than something prevented the pair from hugging. Somnus stepped back and stared at the daemon dog who was wagging his tail at him. All of a sudden Cerbie jumped up on Somnus’s chest and started to lick at his face. Somnus just stood still thinking Cerbie was going to eat him, but no. The dog was giving him love and thanking him for what he wanted to do. 

“I think you have finally earnt Cerbie’s respect.” Cor laughed, trying to get Cerbie off of Somnus.

“Y-y-eah!” Somnus stuttered. 

Was his and Cerbie’s 1500 year old feud finally over? 

Never mind that Somnus had to now explain his plan and reasoing in detail to Cor. No matter how painful it would be. 


	6. I Think I Can Move On, Don't You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another story done!!! Yeyeye!!! Thank you everyone who has supported the fic and this series in whatever way it means a lot :)
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed and I am glad this finishes on a positive note. 
> 
> Please enjoy :)

“You are annoying.” Prompto rolled his eyes as he stomped up the stairs, trying to ignore the fact that Ardyn was still teasing him. He’d been doing it for the past half an hour and it just wouldn’t stop. He loved Ardyn so much but his dad was bloody annoying sometimes. 

Ardyn laughed and lent on the bannister at the bottom of the stairs. He loved winding his family up almost as much as he loved them. “Oh is someone being a grumpy teenager over a few photos? I told you I know exactly where they are.” 

“Get them than!” Prom shouted back standing on the landing. 

“Oooh! So demanding Prompto Leonis!” 

Ardyn laughed harder. Things seemed to just be getting better since Cor had admitted the drinking problem. A lot better. Cor was getting help that he was willing to go to and take part in. They had taken part in some form of sexual activity and it was good. Cor didn’t have a panic attack and it was a step in the right direction and it meant that Cor was at least healing if nothing else. And as for Prompto… his and Cor’s little sunbeam, he was blossoming each and every day. Ardyn couldn’t be prouder of his son. It was just a shame this high on life couldn’t last forever. But this wasn’t the time nor place to be lingering on that can of worms. Nope. Annoying his son over his son’s frustration was far more interesting to do. All of a sudden the daemons made Ardyn duck and a something flew over his head at top speed. Ardyn shooking his head turned around and saw something black near the door. Did Prompto just throw that at him?!

Ardyn turned back to Prom and asked in a shocked tone. “Was that a shoe young man?!”

“Yep. Now, leave me alone, you weirdo!” Prom teased back giving his dad a taste of his own medicine. 

“Oooo, I think somebody needs his bedtime?” 

“Yeah, alright I am going old man.” 

“You are turning into a little hooligan.” 

“Says the man who is basically the definition of that word.” 

“Teenagers. Bloody teenagers.” Ardyn tutted under his breath as Prompto went into his room.

The sad thing was, that Prom probably wasn’t going to use that room often now. He was using his free time with Ignis, Noctis and Gladio. Which was fine, just a little disheartening. No pointing on dwelling on that. 

Ardyn shook his head and wandered into his living room, waiting for Cor to take the piss out of him for that mini teasing session he had with Prom. It was pretty funny. He was expecting to see, was Cor sitting on the sofa laughing with Cerbie sitting on his feet. He didn’t see that at all. Instead, he saw Cor sitting on his own in the single sofa and Somnus on the bigger sofa with Cerbie half laying in his lap! Okay, what had happened in the last few hours that he was out with Prom taking photos of landscapes? Literally the only logical thing Ardyn could think off was that Cerbie had already eaten Somnus and he was just laying on him, waiting until he was hungry again. 

“Somnus? What are you doing here? And why is Cerbie sitting on your lap and not eating you?” Ardyn asked face plastered with confusion. 

“Seeing Cor and I have no idea.” Somnus said raising his hands. 

He knew why but it was freaking him out now. The moment he had admitted to Cor what he wanted to do Cerberus would not leave him alone. When he sat on the sofa, Cerbie sat on him and refused to move. So the Founder King was kind of stuck here and Cor was finding it hilarious. It wasn’t but Cor explained it was just Cerberus’s way of expressing his love. Somnus didn’t really like the idea of being loved by the daemon dog. 

Ardyn looked at his husband for confirmation and Cor just shrugged. Ardyn was bewildered by this advancement and decided to ask his beloved dog what the hell was going on. “Okay, that’s weird. Cerbie why don’t you to want to eat uncle Somnus?” 

“Charming.” Somnus huffed. 

“Ardyn, leave them alone. They have just decided to get on now, nothing more.” Cor said, trying to prevent Ardyn from finding out the truth. Somnus was right. Ardyn would never let this happen. No matter how selfish Cor felt about it… Somnus wanted to do it. He had to let him. 

“Umm… Okay. Cerbie budge up.” Ardyn said lifting up Cerbie’s bottom half before taking a seat and plonking Cerbie in his lap. “So what were you two talking about?”

“Your death.” Cor said not lying. Ardyn would only catch on to it if he did and Cerbie would growl at him for lying. 

Somnus nodded and follow Cor’s lead while stroking one of Cerbie’s head. “We were talking about how peaceful it will be.” 

“Yep. No more nagging.” 

“We won’t fight anymore.” 

“And no more starscourge.” 

“I feel personally attacked here.” Ardyn nearly shouted in disgust. First, his baby darling deadly daemon dog was being friends with his brother and now his husband was helping Somnus to pick on him! What the hell did he do to deserve this torture? He patted Cerbie on the back and started to pout. “I know Cerbie, they bully dada so, don’t they?”

Cerbie just yawned in response and nuzzled his heads into his new favourite person’s lap. He too had been told not to tell Ardyn anything. To avoid doing that, sleeping was his best bet. 

“That is what I am here for brother.” Somnus shrugged. 

“He shouldn’t though.” Ardyn grumbled, pointing at Cor before giving him an evil glare. 

“I do it out of love.” Cor smirked, sipping at his coffee. 

“Sometimes I greatly dispute that.”

* * *

“...anyway, I need to get to the training barracks.” 

Clarus smiled pushing his chair back to leave. He liked having these weekly chats with Cor. It was good because it meant the Shield could check up on his little brother and flag up to Regis or Ardyn if he was struggling or not. By the looks of it, Cor was doing okay. Perfectly okay. Before he could leave, Cor stopped him. 

“No, no, Clarus, I’ll do that.” 

That did take Clarus by surprise. Cor hadn’t been in any official training sessions in months now. “What? Are you sure?” 

“Yeah. It’s only training right?” Cor said, not sounding bothered or unnerved by the idea at all. 

“It’s hand to hand combat.” Clarus said carefully, making sure that Cor knew what he was doing. 

“And…” Cor said looking directly into Clarus’s eyes to make sure he knew he was being deadly serious.

“Right okay. Off you go then.” Clarus said not wanting to dwell on this development and make Cor think twice about it. 

“Thanks.” 

Right. Cor was ready for this. He could do it. He could do it. 

And he did.

* * *

Ardyn lay on the bed. He was a little tired today and he knew Somnus was keeping things from him. He didn’t know what it was, but he knew it was something. But every time he asked, Somnus yawned and said he was going to bed. Ardyn even asked Cor and his husband said he knew nothing of it, Ardyn went so far as asking Cerbie. And his dog point blank refused to tell him. So now Ardyn was trying to piece everything together. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t figure it out. 

The bedroom door opened and Ardyn lifted his head up to see his husband standing in the doorway. 

Ardyn smiled brightly at Cor. “How was work, my darling?” 

“Good. I was on training duty today. Hand to hand combat.” Cor smiled back taking off his shoes before closing the door. 

“Excellent. I am so proud of you, My Marshal.” Ardyn sat up to get a better look at Cor. 

Then he got jumped. Cor jumped on the bed and crushed their lips together. Ardyn laughed and pulled him down and crushed their bodies together. They both loved being able to do this again, without anything stopping it. They could just be them and kiss and hug without a second thought. It was just how it used to be… almost. 

Cor pulled away and touched Ardyn’s cheek. “I was thinking, if I could do that then maybe we could…” 

“Oh, are you suggesting that we do something very proactive and fun?” Ardyn’s eyes sparkled putting his hand on Cor’s waist. But not too low. Not yet. 

“Only if you want to.” Cor assured Ardyn slowly running his hand through his purple knotty hair. 

“Of course I do. But are you ready? You need to be completely sure before we do this.” 

“We’ve waited long enough for this. And I love you. I want to show you how much I love you.” 

Cor smiled and kissed Ardyn again, this time with more fire and passion. He felt ready for this now. Not that he wanted to be ready, that he truly was. Cor pulled his jacket off and kissed Ardyn’s neck. Yep he could do this. And he was going too. 

“You topping?” Ardyn asked breathlessly already knowing the answer. 

“Yes please, Ass Hat.”

* * *

“That was something I would love to repeat again, My Marshal.” Ardyn sighed, rubbing Cor’s arm as his husband was locked under his arm in a tight embrace. 

“I’m just glad we did it.” Cor smirked, nuzzling his face into Ardyn’s bare chest. 

Having sex… yeah, it was scary to start off with and there was a moment were Cor wanted nothing to do with it. He started to panic and he wanted to say no. When he told Ardyn he didn’t want to continue, Ardyn said that was okay. That this didn’t matter to him and he was happy with whatever they did or didn’t do. That made Cor want to go through with it. Because Ardyn loved him that much he was willing to put his own needs before himself… that made Cor love and respect this man even more. 

“Good. I am happy about that.” 

“This is… I am glad what he did hasn’t destroyed us.” 

Ardyn kissed Cor on the head. “It never will my darling. Not ever.” 

“I know that now.” Cor gulped. 

He wanted to tell Ardyn so badly about what Somnus wanted to do. He wanted too, he wanted Ardyn to maybe bathe in the relief that he might be here for a lot longer than he expected. But that wasn’t fair. That wasn’t fair on Somnus to reveal it. It wasn’t fair on Ardyn to even think of the notion of letting his brother die… that made Cor cry. He couldn’t help it. Tears fell. None of this was fair, no matter if he kept silent or opened his mouth. It was a fucking awful situation. 

“Hey, darling. It’s okay. What’s wrong?” Ardyn sid softly getting worried. 

“I don’t want…” Cor whimpered, and said the first thing that came to mind to cover it up. “I don’t want to lose you.” 

“I know you don’t sweetheart. But everything will be okay. I promise.” 

“Maybe it will, maybe it won’t.” 

“I’ve been alive too long. Maybe it is time I stop.” Ardyn admitted. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to leave Cor or Prom or Somnus or Regis or Noctis or anyone he loved. But 2000 years was too long for anyone. So maybe this was going to be a blessing? Maybe this would be for the better? He didn’t know. He didn’t really want to think about what he couldn’t change. 

Cor lifted his head up and shook it violently. “No. Don’t give up please?” 

“Cor, sweetheart I am not.” 

“But you are. Please, please, we got what 11 years. We can’t give up yet.” 

“You have too much faith in me.”

“I have faith in what I love. And I love you.” Cor said proudly as Ardyn wiped away the tears that had fallen.

“That’s good because I am madly in love with you too.” 

* * *

Today was perfect. Prom had decided he was going to stay at home tonight and Ardyn cooked dinner and Cor let Cerbie have three plates to himself near the dinner table so the family was all eating together. They hadn’t done this in a few weeks now and Cor and Ardyn clung to these moments with Prom. He was grown up now, with a boyfriend and there was nothing they could do about it. The only thing they could do was savour what time they had. 

Prom finished his food and smiled at his dads. “Have you set a date for your vows renewal yet?” 

“Not yet mate.” Cor shook his head, feeling a little embarrassed that they hadn’t really spoken about this yet… 

“Really come on guys. People get married for the first time faster than you old farts plan your second wedding.” Prom laughed. 

“I am not old! I am not even 45 yet! He’s old. He’s bloody over 2000 years old. I am nowhere near the age that could be considered old.” Cor gasped. Very offended his son thought he was old. He wasn’t old. Not yet. Was he? 

“Thank you darling.” Ardyn rolled his eyes. People were becoming ruder and ruder to him as the years went by. Ardyn than turned his attention to his son as he grabbed Prom’s empty plate. “Is Mr Scientia making you rude, my sunbeam?” 

“Nope. Life is.” Prom shrugged. He wasn’t being rude. Just funny and winding his dads up that was a bonus. 

“Well stop with the cheek then. And no we haven’t, we wanted to make it special.” 

“Okay, I guess. At least, I’ll be able to attend my parent’s wedding this time.” Prom smiled brightly. 

He had seen the wedding photos, the wedding rings, the wedding video. It made him so happy to see his parents so happy and so in love with each other. He always wanted to be there. He always wanted to witness one of the perfect moments in their lives. That was why he wanted them to hurry up but gods they were slow in their old age. Especially Ardyn. 

Ardyn started to coo than as he handed Cor the plates so he could take them to the kitchen to clean up. “Awww you want to attend our wedding!! I thought we weren’t cool enough for you anymore.” 

“Ardyn leave him alone.” Cor tapped Ardyn lightly on the head as a way to tell him off. 

“Yes, My Marshal.” 

Ardyn smirked and pulled at Cor’s shirt to kiss him. Cor happily accepted the kiss. After having sex again, Cor was happy to be as affectionate Ardyn liked, to a certain extent. Because Prompto hadn’t been here, it literally didn’t cross his mind that his son would mind as he kissed his husband back. 

“Eww, you two are getting very lovey dovey.” Prom complained covering his eyes. 

“Nothing wrong with that.” Cor said, pulling away to save his son the embarrassment. 

“Aren’t you lovey dovey around Mr Scientia?” Ardyn asked, actually really not wanting to know the answer to his question. 

“In private.” 

“This is our house, our rules.” 

Cor finally decided it was time to take the plates to the kitchen and actually clean them before Cerbie started begging for more. Cor quickly picked up the plates from the floor as well before Cerbie could cut himself on the plates. He had done that before. Before he left he turned back to his son and asked. “When is Ignis next coming round. I need to apologise to him.” 

“Don’t worry dad. He already forgives you.” Prom shrugged it off taking the plates off his dad. He’d thought he wash up for a change. 

That was fucking relief. 

When Prom was out of hearing range, Cor turned to Ardyn and said. “I like Ignis.” 

“Me too, My Marshal.”

* * *

“I am so happy to see you like this Cor.” Regis smiled at his friend as the pair sat and had a cuppa. 

“I am happy I am slowly getting to this point.” Cor admitted. 

It was actually such a relief to be like this again. To feel a little bit more normal with every passing day. The need to drink was slowly slipping away and as for what he went through, Cor was becoming more comfortable talking about it now. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something. And it was feeling good. 

“You deserve to be happy. You really do.” 

“Thanks Regis.” 

“What for my dear?” 

“Making sure that I got help with the drinking and… for not allowing me to take my word back when everything blew up.” 

Cor hadn’t really thanked Regis for that yet. Not properly anyway. He had thanked Nyx and Ardyn but not Regis. He didn’t understand why, maybe Cor just wasn’t brave enough yet and in the heat of everything maybe he just forgot. Well, he couldn’t forget now and this needed to be said. He loved Regis so much for standing up and looking out for him. He had always done it, but Cor needed his big brother then and he got it. 

Regis’s face saddened remembering that day. It was a day full of pain and regret but it had to be talked about eventually. With a heavy heart he let out a sigh. “To be honest, I should have told Ardyn the moment I found out. I am sorry I didn’t.” 

“He wouldn’t have believed it unless I said it.” Cor said with certainty. 

“He would have Cor.” 

Cor shook his head. “I lied too much, without that emotion coming from the both of us he wouldn’t have believed it. I still lied too much. I did. But… thanks to you and Nyx things started to get better. I owe you for that.” Cor smiled trying to turn a negative into a positive. 

“Oh Cor, I owe you more than I owe Clarus by this point. But if you want to owe me something, consider it debt settled.” Regis laughed, grateful that the conversation had turned itself around. 

“Deal.” Cor smirked shaking his hand.

* * *

Ardyn felt he had no choice but to corner his little brother. Somnus found this incredibly rude but what did that matter. He could never get anything out of Somnus if he didn’t do this, but Ardyn wanted to know this secret Somnus was keeping from him. Because he had obviously told Cor but no one else and now he was best friends with Cerbie. Nope, things did not add up. Ardyn was finding this out, soon or later he was going to. 

“What is this secret hey?” Ardyn asked playfully punching Somnus in the chest. 

“Nothing.” Somnus said rolling on his heels so he didn’t fall over. Ardyn punched him harder than he thought. 

“Don’t lie to me.” 

“Okay. I love you and our family enough to care about you all.” Somnus said acting like it was nothing. It had such a deeper meaning than what his brother would ever be able to comprehend yet. He just couldn’t say a thing. 

Ardyn raised his hands in the air and took a step back and he swore his heart stopped. “Woah! Yep, that was probably it, you would never say that.” 

“I have a question though, what do you think is after death?” Somnus asked, out of the blue. 

“I don’t know. I’ll tell you in 11 years. Why?” 

Somnus bit his lip. He didn’t want Ardyn to know what had been going through his head since they found out that Noct was the chosen. He didn’t want anyone to know. No one was meant to know. But being this close to death he had to ask. In a said voice he asked not looking at his brother. “Just thinking… am I ever going to see my children, grandchildren, my wives or Amelia again.” 

“I hope so. Or what is the point in life?” Ardyn asked, feeling pain in his chest. He could see his parents again, Aera, every passed lover he had, his nieces and nephews and everyone else he had lost along the way. Maybe that was another thing that drew him towards death. Or… He didn’t know. 

“I do too.” Somnus nodded. Thinking about Amelia. He maybe doing this for Noctis and Ardyn but he also wanted to see her again. A life without her wasn’t worth living anymore. 

Ardyn placed a hand on his brother shoulder and gave him a comforting smile. “You’ll see her again Somnus. I promise you that.” 

“I know I will.” 

_Sooner than you think, brother dear._

* * *

“When do you want to get married again?” 

Ardyn asked as the pair lay under the stars. They hadn’t done this in a long old time and it was nice to go back to how things were before. It rekindled old feelings and awoken old memories. It was just lovely for them to hold each other as they looked up at the night sky. 

“You asked me, maybe you should decide.” Cor sighed, cuddling up to Ardyn like he was trying to get into his trenchcoat. 

“This time, it can be as private as you like my dear.” Ardyn grinned poking his husband on the nose.

“I like the sound of that Ass Hat.” Cor smiled back and kissed Ardyn sweetly. 

Ardyn rubbed his nose against Cor’s. “I will do anything for you. You know that?” 

“I know. Before we decide on a date, do you want to have sex?” Cor asked. 

“Yes. Yes, I do.” 


End file.
